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Send text to Tyler.
2
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:28,960
What would you like to say?
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00:02:28,961 --> 00:02:30,295
Hi, exclamation point.
4
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I just arrived,
exclamation point.
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Your message to Tyler says,
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"Hi! I just arrived!"
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- Send.
- Okay.
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Message sent.
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00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,351
Tyler says,
"Glad you arrived safely."
10
00:02:44,352 --> 00:02:47,521
Would you like to reply?
11
00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:50,315
Tyler says,
"Thank you again
for being there."
12
00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:55,320
Tyler says,
"I'm so grateful for you."
13
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- Would you like to reply?
- No.
14
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Okay.
15
00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:10,146
Oh! Hey, hello.
16
00:04:11,981 --> 00:04:14,733
- Hi, Mrs. Patterson, I'm--
- This plant shouldn't be dying.
17
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I just bought it two weeks ago.
It's unbelievable.
18
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All the leaves
keep falling off.
19
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Should I come in?
20
00:04:20,656 --> 00:04:22,574
Well, I didn't slam
the door on you.
21
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It's a succulent,
for God's sake.
22
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Shouldn't be dying.
23
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I've done nothing wrong,
that's for sure.
24
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We take our shoes off
in this house.
25
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- Sorry.
- Everything out there is dirt.
26
00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:35,086
Yeah, a-and cold.
27
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Where is that "dry heat"
you hear so much about?
28
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- What was your name again?
- Jamie.
29
00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:42,427
Here, we say our first
and last name.
30
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Sorry. Jamie Simms.
31
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Well, I'll probably have
to ask you your name again.
32
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Just know that.
I can't apologize for it.
33
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I've got a lot going on.
And now, with you here.
34
00:04:50,603 --> 00:04:53,438
I completely understan... d.
35
00:05:00,112 --> 00:05:03,114
I'm sorry, I wasn't sure
if you wanted me to follow you.
36
00:05:03,115 --> 00:05:05,534
- I don't know what's happening.
- I know.
37
00:05:05,535 --> 00:05:08,663
- It's a very unusual situation.
- It's all starting to rot.
38
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It's possible
it's being overwatered.
39
00:05:19,632 --> 00:05:21,800
- It could also be
under-watered, so that's--
- I'll tell you one thing
40
00:05:21,801 --> 00:05:23,885
I did do wrong.
I trusted Doris Kato.
41
00:05:23,886 --> 00:05:26,638
Friend from New York.
She raved about this nursery,
42
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which, of course, she did.
Her cousin opened it.
43
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A cousin, by the way,
no one's ever even
heard of until now.
44
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A Sue or a Veronica or Patty.
I don't fucking know.
45
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I wasn't listening.
She went on and on and on.
46
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"I'm so proud of my cousin.
She's starting over.
47
00:05:39,819 --> 00:05:42,070
We should really support her."
48
00:05:42,071 --> 00:05:45,073
Well, I'm sorry, but clearly,
Sue-Veronica-Patty
49
00:05:45,074 --> 00:05:46,992
needs to start over again.
50
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Well, I can take it back
if you'd like.
51
00:05:48,494 --> 00:05:49,495
Why?
52
00:05:51,747 --> 00:05:53,498
- If you're not happy.
- Are you already on the clock?
53
00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:55,667
- Is that how this works?
- No, I just--
54
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I'm gonna save it.
It's dying, not dead.
55
00:05:58,170 --> 00:05:59,422
It can be saved.
56
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,049
I'm gonna make a cocktail.
I need one.
57
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,342
Can I pour you something?
58
00:06:04,343 --> 00:06:06,803
- Um...
- Yeah, it's early.
59
00:06:06,804 --> 00:06:08,513
Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
I just-- I'm--
60
00:06:08,514 --> 00:06:10,932
I'm just not much
of a drinker, actually.
61
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:12,684
But thank you. I had a--
62
00:06:12,685 --> 00:06:14,728
had an incident in college.
63
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Yeah, I broke my jaw.
64
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Just completely tanked
65
00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:26,948
on Long Island iced teas.
66
00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,034
I blacked out
right onto the sidewalk.
67
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I had to have my jaw wired shut
for over a month.
68
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So, any of the smells
of the numerous alcohols
69
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in a Long Island
are a bit of a trigger for me.
70
00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:38,710
Are you triggered
by the smell of water?
71
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Because that's all I have.
72
00:06:41,714 --> 00:06:43,049
Or Pedialyte.
73
00:06:43,799 --> 00:06:46,259
Well, I've never been one
to turn down a Pedialyte.
74
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Blueberry or unflavored?
75
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Water's awesome.
76
00:06:52,391 --> 00:06:54,434
So, how long will you be here?
77
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It depends. Uh, a few days,
maybe a week.
78
00:06:57,563 --> 00:06:59,397
That's "a few days,
maybe a week"?
79
00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:01,150
Well, for a gay man, yes.
80
00:07:02,276 --> 00:07:04,236
I wasn't expecting
to-- to come here.
81
00:07:05,071 --> 00:07:07,572
None of this was expected.
82
00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:09,617
Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't...
83
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,328
Um, I was packed
for a different trip,
84
00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:15,664
for-- for a longer trip
when your son called.
85
00:07:15,665 --> 00:07:19,292
So then, this trip got
tacked on to-- to that trip.
86
00:07:19,293 --> 00:07:22,128
And you're driving for that trip
and this trip?
87
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Yeah, I prefer it.
88
00:07:23,589 --> 00:07:25,256
You know, time alone,
time to think.
89
00:07:25,257 --> 00:07:26,842
I like a road trip.
90
00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:29,762
Oh, God.
91
00:07:32,807 --> 00:07:35,101
- I have more socks.
- You think they made the cut?
92
00:07:44,777 --> 00:07:46,528
Yeah, I, uh,
93
00:07:46,529 --> 00:07:48,530
I love a road trip.
94
00:07:48,531 --> 00:07:52,283
It's a great way to, uh,
to see New Mexico.
95
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It's my first time, actually.
It's so beautiful.
96
00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:58,623
But it is funny, you know?
You see the desert landscape,
97
00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:01,126
and you just assume,
well, that's gonna be hot--
98
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:03,004
So, how does this work?
You, here?
99
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:05,463
Um, however you'd like it.
100
00:08:05,464 --> 00:08:06,798
No, I didn't ask
for any of this.
101
00:08:06,799 --> 00:08:08,800
So, it's not "however."
You tell me.
102
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Uh, I'm-- I'm just
here to help.
103
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Me grieve?
104
00:08:12,346 --> 00:08:14,305
No. No, I couldn't possibly.
105
00:08:14,306 --> 00:08:16,892
No, you couldn't.
I'm more than capable.
106
00:08:17,643 --> 00:08:19,644
I just meant I could help, um,
107
00:08:19,645 --> 00:08:22,313
with arrangements,
um, running errands.
108
00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:25,066
- I think Tyler was thinking--
- Yes, what was my son thinking,
109
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:26,735
sending you in his place?
110
00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:28,487
I think Tyler's
worried about you.
111
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,870
I thought you'd be
better at that.
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Lying.
113
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Isn't that what assistants
do best?
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- He is worried.
- Fine. He's worried.
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And you know he would be here
in a heartbeat
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if he wasn't stuck
overseas doing--
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Overseas doing research
for the new book.
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Yes, that much I learned
in his texts to me,
119
00:08:51,343 --> 00:08:53,678
along with his condolences
for my husband,
120
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and regrets that he might not
be able to make it back
for the funeral.
121
00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:59,434
And then, two days ago,
I learned that his assistant
122
00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,353
would be here in his absence,
in a text from you.
123
00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:03,855
Y-Yes, that is on me.
124
00:09:03,856 --> 00:09:05,690
I told Tyler
I would reach out, and I--
125
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and I should have let him
do that first.
126
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,527
And why might
he not make it back?
127
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:12,864
There's a prisoner of war
that he's hoping to interview,
128
00:09:12,865 --> 00:09:14,365
uh, in Khartoum.
129
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:16,576
He has a contact,
an insider
130
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:18,953
in the Sudanese
Armed Forces that--
131
00:09:18,954 --> 00:09:21,790
It's timing, basically.
It's-- it's about timing.
132
00:09:21,791 --> 00:09:23,750
It-- He just has to be ready
for when it will be safe.
133
00:09:23,751 --> 00:09:26,294
And will it be safe
before Saturday to be here?
134
00:09:26,295 --> 00:09:27,921
That's the hope, yes.
That's what he's hoping.
135
00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:29,964
- Mm, that's in seven days.
- Yes.
136
00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:31,217
So, we're hoping it's...
137
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Safe before Saturday.
138
00:09:33,761 --> 00:09:35,553
And if it doesn't become safe,
139
00:09:35,554 --> 00:09:37,556
will you be sitting beside me
at the funeral?
140
00:09:39,767 --> 00:09:41,559
- Well, no. I-- I mean,
I couldn't--
- Why?
141
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,894
You're doing
everything else for Tyler.
142
00:09:42,895 --> 00:09:45,063
Why can't you be my son
on the day?
143
00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:46,606
Well, because
I'm no replacement for him--
144
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:49,068
You'd be surprised
how low that bar is.
145
00:09:55,449 --> 00:09:57,076
Did you want me
to get the water?
146
00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:01,413
I-It's okay, no worries.
147
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:04,582
- So, you don't want the water?
- No.
148
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,126
No-- I mean, yes,
I do want the water.
149
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,627
I just meant
no worries in that...
150
00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:09,838
- Oh, my God.
- ...it's okay that you forgot.
151
00:10:11,674 --> 00:10:14,092
Sorry, I meant to put
my phone on vibrate.
152
00:10:17,263 --> 00:10:20,640
- Is that Tyler?
- Um, most likely, yes.
153
00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:23,601
Your son texts
from his computer,
154
00:10:23,602 --> 00:10:26,104
so he's just constantly
hitting return
155
00:10:26,105 --> 00:10:27,856
and sending one sentence
at a time.
156
00:10:27,857 --> 00:10:28,858
Yes, it is him.
157
00:10:33,112 --> 00:10:35,781
Uh, he's just making sure
I arrived safely.
158
00:10:37,283 --> 00:10:40,326
That's a lot of sentences
for such a simple message.
159
00:10:40,327 --> 00:10:41,328
Uh...
160
00:10:42,329 --> 00:10:44,205
Uh, let's see what he says.
161
00:10:44,206 --> 00:10:45,832
- Um...
- Forget it.
162
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,168
It doesn't all
have to be my business.
163
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,795
But to the part that is...
164
00:10:50,838 --> 00:10:53,674
you can say that you
arrived safely and that...
165
00:10:54,967 --> 00:10:56,968
I'm doing well.
166
00:10:56,969 --> 00:10:58,970
In case that's his follow-up.
167
00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,889
Oh, and I'll take room temp.
There's no need for ice
168
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,390
if the desert's not
gonna be hot.
169
00:11:02,391 --> 00:11:04,184
Yes, it's winter.
For God's sake,
170
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,186
please stop being
blown away by that.
171
00:11:10,024 --> 00:11:11,774
He sent a heart emoji.
172
00:11:11,775 --> 00:11:14,028
Is that for you arriving safely
or me doing well?
173
00:11:14,987 --> 00:11:17,405
- Imagine both.
- How economical of him.
174
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:23,161
I prefer you leave
the chime on.
175
00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:25,414
That way I'll know
when we hear from him.
176
00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:28,542
Of course.
177
00:11:30,002 --> 00:11:31,378
- What?
- Nothing.
178
00:11:32,504 --> 00:11:34,214
- Am I a lot?
- No.
179
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,549
That's a shame,
'cause I'm trying to be.
180
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:38,843
You'll forgive me, Jamie,
but I'm having a hard time
181
00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:40,345
processing your presence.
182
00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:42,847
I know, I'm just--
I'm just doing my job.
183
00:11:42,848 --> 00:11:45,558
You understand my position, yes?
Why I'd be so agitated
184
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,393
to learn that I'm your job?
185
00:11:47,394 --> 00:11:50,104
No, no, I'm sorry.
Being here is my job for Tyler.
186
00:11:50,105 --> 00:11:52,232
I didn't mean to imply
that you're my responsibility.
187
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,025
Well, Tyler seems
to think differently.
188
00:11:54,026 --> 00:11:56,361
He seems to think he can
pass off his responsibility
189
00:11:56,362 --> 00:11:58,488
to be here to say goodbye
to his stepfather.
190
00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:00,740
Not that he ever called
Henry anything but Henry,
191
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,033
let alone made an effort
192
00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:04,202
to have any kind of
relationship with him.
193
00:12:04,203 --> 00:12:05,870
So, well, maybe that's it.
194
00:12:05,871 --> 00:12:07,872
Maybe that's why
he doesn't feel he has
a responsibility
195
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:09,582
to be here?
196
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:11,751
But my son does have
a relationship with me,
197
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:14,462
or did at one point--
a good one,
198
00:12:14,463 --> 00:12:16,089
which I think counts.
199
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:18,717
So, there is a responsibility
there to me.
200
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,511
- Tyler is doing his best.
- Oh, please.
201
00:12:21,512 --> 00:12:23,513
- I think given
the circumstances--
- Yes, you have to defend him.
202
00:12:23,514 --> 00:12:25,723
I get it, it's your job,
but I don't, so I won't.
203
00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,600
Overseas is bullshit.
204
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:29,310
My husband
didn't just suddenly die.
205
00:12:29,311 --> 00:12:30,395
He had Parkinson's.
206
00:12:30,396 --> 00:12:31,562
We knew where we were headed,
207
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:32,981
and so did Tyler.
208
00:12:32,982 --> 00:12:35,776
I actually called him
two weeks ago to tell him...
209
00:12:37,903 --> 00:12:40,113
To tell his voicemail,
at least.
210
00:12:40,114 --> 00:12:41,906
I told him Henry
had taken a turn,
211
00:12:41,907 --> 00:12:44,742
things were complicated,
and time was not on our side.
212
00:12:44,743 --> 00:12:47,954
So, again, you'll forgive me
if I intend to allow myself
213
00:12:47,955 --> 00:12:50,249
some agitation
and disappointment.
214
00:12:57,423 --> 00:12:59,758
I understand. I do.
215
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,178
But I'm not here
if you don't want me to be.
216
00:13:05,139 --> 00:13:07,765
Which is something
you could have conveyed
217
00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:09,767
two days ago when I texted you.
218
00:13:09,768 --> 00:13:12,270
But that said, I am here
because of Tyler,
219
00:13:12,271 --> 00:13:14,272
because he thought
I might be of help.
220
00:13:14,273 --> 00:13:15,691
But if you don't want that...
221
00:13:16,525 --> 00:13:19,528
if you would like me to leave,
I also understand that.
222
00:13:25,784 --> 00:13:27,286
I haven't made up my mind yet.
223
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:31,373
Okay.
224
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:33,959
So...
225
00:13:35,502 --> 00:13:37,504
how long have you
been his assistant?
226
00:13:38,464 --> 00:13:41,007
Uh, going on about
four years now.
227
00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:43,134
Wow.
Obviously, I'm aware
228
00:13:43,135 --> 00:13:45,219
Tyler and I have been
somewhat estranged for a while,
229
00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:47,181
but to not even know
of your existence?
230
00:13:48,307 --> 00:13:52,018
Although I'm not sure that's
more of a slight on me or you.
231
00:13:53,979 --> 00:13:55,480
Well, it doesn't bother me.
232
00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:56,648
How old are you?
233
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,068
Forty-two.
234
00:14:00,986 --> 00:14:03,696
Four-- 46. Final answer.
235
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:06,074
- So, older than Tyler?
- Y-Yeah, it's just eight years.
236
00:14:06,075 --> 00:14:07,742
- Doesn't mean-- It's not crazy.
- Of course not.
237
00:14:07,743 --> 00:14:09,827
- Is that an issue for you?
- No.
238
00:14:09,828 --> 00:14:12,830
Really? Because at first,
you made yourself less older.
239
00:14:12,831 --> 00:14:14,749
- Uh...
- I just have to imagine
240
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:18,336
it's an interesting dynamic
for you as Tyler's assistant,
241
00:14:18,337 --> 00:14:21,756
with where he is in his life
at his exact age.
242
00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:24,008
- He's very successful.
- I'm-- I'm successful.
243
00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:26,928
I'm sorry, this...
this feels like an interview.
244
00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:29,180
Well, I'm being asked
to spend a few days,
245
00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:31,557
maybe a week,
with a complete stranger.
246
00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:33,601
I think I'm entitled
to know more.
247
00:14:33,602 --> 00:14:35,937
Yeah, this is all kind of
a second chapter for me.
248
00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:40,066
When I left NYU,
I took a job as a copywriter,
249
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:42,527
but I wasn't happy
with anything.
250
00:14:42,528 --> 00:14:46,447
So, I decided to quit
and start over in LA.
251
00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:48,116
Where you took
the job with Tyler.
252
00:14:48,117 --> 00:14:49,784
Um, yeah, eventually, yes.
253
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:52,787
- Because you were a fan?
- Y-Yes, but when I got to LA,
254
00:14:52,788 --> 00:14:55,289
I didn't purposely seek him out.
255
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:58,793
We just happened to randomly
bump into each other
256
00:14:58,794 --> 00:15:01,213
in West Hollywood at a bar.
257
00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:03,632
A gay bar?
258
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:07,635
I mean, not-- not all bars
in West Hollywood are gay bars.
259
00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:08,720
So, it wasn't a gay bar?
260
00:15:10,264 --> 00:15:12,557
- No, it was...
- Mm-hmm.
261
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,392
You know, I mentioned
what brought me to LA,
262
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:17,728
and he, you know, he mentioned
being very overwhelmed
263
00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:19,648
and very inundated, and...
264
00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:22,067
I don't know, I just...
265
00:15:23,402 --> 00:15:25,403
I remember thinking that
it felt like we were meeting
266
00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,572
for a reason.
267
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:30,075
So, I offered myself up.
As his assistant.
268
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,910
So, I'm curious.
269
00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:34,788
Mm, what has Tyler
said about me?
270
00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:41,086
What has Tyler said about you?
271
00:15:42,754 --> 00:15:45,174
Yes, I imagine he's mentioned me
at some point.
272
00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:48,259
Yeah, no,
I'm just trying to think.
273
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,427
What he's said about me?
274
00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:50,970
Honestly, he doesn't
really talk much about--
275
00:15:50,971 --> 00:15:52,930
- Me?
- Childhood.
276
00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:54,307
That included me.
277
00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:55,683
Mrs. Patterson--
278
00:15:55,684 --> 00:15:57,018
You're "46. Final answer."
279
00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:58,520
We can be at Diane.
280
00:15:59,313 --> 00:16:00,938
Diane, with all due respect--
281
00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:02,982
He sent you here,
so I have to assume
282
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,775
- something's been said.
- Okay, he said you were,
283
00:16:04,776 --> 00:16:06,444
uh, a great cook,
284
00:16:06,445 --> 00:16:09,655
a big traveler,
that you like movies.
285
00:16:09,656 --> 00:16:12,533
Ooh, wow!
What a vivid picture.
286
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:14,995
So, no adjectives. Huh.
287
00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:19,582
Uh, Diane, I'm sorry, I can't.
288
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,542
Part of my being here,
289
00:16:21,543 --> 00:16:23,961
part of working for Tyler--
working for anybody, really,
290
00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:27,882
as an assistant, is that there
has to be some sort of semblance
291
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,967
of a cone of silence
when it comes to stuff
292
00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:32,428
discussed about anything,
293
00:16:32,429 --> 00:16:34,180
including family.
294
00:16:34,181 --> 00:16:35,973
It's not mine to share.
295
00:16:35,974 --> 00:16:38,977
I have to be a safe place
for Tyler, and I have been.
296
00:16:39,895 --> 00:16:42,230
And should you choose
to have me here,
297
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:43,564
I would be that for you.
298
00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:46,068
I-- I would be
a cone of silence.
299
00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:48,570
Which is something
I think you would want.
300
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,909
Some things
should remain unsaid.
301
00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:57,495
I have experience with that.
302
00:16:57,496 --> 00:16:59,705
Besides, I doubt
you could tell me
303
00:16:59,706 --> 00:17:01,583
anything I don't already know.
304
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,503
Can't be much good in there.
305
00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:10,717
- Well, that's not true.
- And that's not true, either.
306
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,222
Do you mind if I use
your bathroom?
307
00:17:16,223 --> 00:17:18,599
Yeah. That would seem
cruel if I said no,
308
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,018
seeing as you just drank
the equivalent of a lake.
309
00:17:26,191 --> 00:17:28,192
- Um...
- We removed the door
310
00:17:28,193 --> 00:17:30,529
- to make it easier for Henry.
- Oh, sure.
311
00:17:32,948 --> 00:17:35,741
- You know, I think
I'm good, actually--
- Do your business.
312
00:17:35,742 --> 00:17:37,536
I'll refill your lake.
313
00:17:46,128 --> 00:17:47,838
That's odd.
I don't remember...
314
00:17:48,547 --> 00:17:50,881
- turning that off, that's crazy.
- Yes.
315
00:17:52,259 --> 00:17:54,260
I don't know why
that chime's not on.
316
00:17:54,261 --> 00:17:55,970
- Do you need me
to bring it to you?
- No, no!
317
00:17:55,971 --> 00:17:57,305
Nope, almost done.
318
00:17:57,306 --> 00:17:59,098
Yep, just...
319
00:17:59,099 --> 00:18:00,391
...wrapping it up.
320
00:18:04,563 --> 00:18:07,064
Sorry about that.
I don't remember
321
00:18:07,065 --> 00:18:08,150
putting it on the...
322
00:18:09,151 --> 00:18:10,943
Um...
323
00:18:10,944 --> 00:18:12,695
Unfortunately, he knows
it's already gonna be
324
00:18:12,696 --> 00:18:15,781
another day of waiting.
It's-- It's still not safe.
325
00:18:15,782 --> 00:18:17,575
I think your son is stressed.
326
00:18:17,576 --> 00:18:20,494
Most of this is him just
asking me to quiet his mind.
327
00:18:20,495 --> 00:18:23,080
He's wondering if he's doing
the right thing by being there.
328
00:18:23,081 --> 00:18:24,833
Do you think he's doing
the right thing?
329
00:18:27,502 --> 00:18:29,462
- That's not my place to--
- Will you reassure him
330
00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:30,756
that he's doing the right thing?
331
00:18:32,591 --> 00:18:34,801
Your son is grappling
with all of this, for sure.
332
00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:43,643
- I like all the art.
- Sure.
333
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,603
We can change the subject.
334
00:18:45,604 --> 00:18:47,229
No, no, I meant
to mention that.
335
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:49,649
No, I welcome it.
The art is all Henry.
336
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,609
He painted.
337
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:53,612
Was a painter. Not a hobby.
338
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,948
After he was diagnosed just
a little over three years ago,
339
00:18:57,949 --> 00:18:59,950
Henry wanted us to move out here
340
00:18:59,951 --> 00:19:02,119
so he could paint
this part of the world
341
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,372
before he could no longer.
342
00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:07,667
I offered to buy him
coffee table books
343
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,835
and just bring this world
to New York.
344
00:19:09,836 --> 00:19:13,464
But he insisted his eyes
see it for themselves.
345
00:19:13,465 --> 00:19:15,591
He knew it was a big ask.
346
00:19:15,592 --> 00:19:19,220
My life was in Manhattan.
I was leaving my career, and...
347
00:19:19,221 --> 00:19:21,181
But of course,
I said I loved the idea.
348
00:19:22,808 --> 00:19:24,976
That was the only lie
I ever told my husband.
349
00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:27,896
That husband, anyway.
350
00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,857
He was hoping
to finish that before he...
351
00:19:36,196 --> 00:19:37,988
What did Tyler
tell you about Henry?
352
00:19:37,989 --> 00:19:39,532
- Diane--
- No.
353
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:41,325
No cone of silence,
not with Henry.
354
00:19:41,326 --> 00:19:42,493
With me, fine.
355
00:19:42,494 --> 00:19:44,161
Yes, he said you, uh,
356
00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:46,497
had been together
for 27 years, I think.
357
00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:48,165
Twenty-nine. What else?
358
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,000
And, uh, that you two
359
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:52,086
deserved each other,
which I thought was sweet.
360
00:19:54,172 --> 00:19:56,258
It can be heard that way.
Is that it?
361
00:19:58,844 --> 00:20:00,094
Yeah.
362
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:01,722
Maybe deal with that.
363
00:20:02,889 --> 00:20:04,598
Oh, my God.
364
00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:07,101
Now, the sun is being
an asshole.
365
00:20:07,102 --> 00:20:08,519
Oh, that sun.
Sorry.
366
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,187
- What?
- Sorry, I keep thinking
367
00:20:10,188 --> 00:20:11,939
- that you're talking about--
- It's relentless!
368
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,941
Everything here is exposed.
369
00:20:13,942 --> 00:20:15,860
Well, I think some time in
the direct sunlight might be--
370
00:20:15,861 --> 00:20:18,195
- might be helpful.
- Well, then you tell me
what to do with it.
371
00:20:18,196 --> 00:20:19,822
- What?
- You were sent to assist.
372
00:20:19,823 --> 00:20:21,907
So, assist. Sun or shade?
373
00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:23,868
Sun or shade?
374
00:20:23,869 --> 00:20:25,244
- Uh, whichever.
- Not "whichever."
375
00:20:25,245 --> 00:20:26,704
You have an opinion, express it.
376
00:20:26,705 --> 00:20:27,747
Okay, I think maybe some time
377
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:28,914
where-- in the--
378
00:20:28,915 --> 00:20:30,541
And for God's sake, respond!
379
00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:32,626
Quiet his mind or whatever it is
he needs you to do.
380
00:20:32,627 --> 00:20:34,378
- I'm telling him to hang on.
- "He's stressed."
381
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,172
What the hell
does he think I'm feeling?
382
00:20:36,173 --> 00:20:38,257
Does he even acknowledge
what's happening here?
383
00:20:38,258 --> 00:20:39,383
What I'm going through?
384
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:41,594
Does he even attempt
to text that?
385
00:20:41,595 --> 00:20:44,221
No, don't even tell me.
He has my number.
386
00:20:44,222 --> 00:20:46,140
He can use it.
After what I've done.
387
00:20:46,141 --> 00:20:48,309
You don't even know
what I've put aside.
388
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:51,562
Because that's what you do.
You put it all aside.
389
00:20:51,563 --> 00:20:55,065
You put it all aside,
despite how you feel.
390
00:20:55,066 --> 00:20:58,736
When someone is hurting,
someone you're supposed to love,
391
00:20:58,737 --> 00:21:01,614
you put it aside,
you ungrateful,
392
00:21:01,615 --> 00:21:03,074
selfish dickhead!
393
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,457
I'm sorry. That wasn't, um...
394
00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:12,918
And...
395
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:17,255
I'm sorry about the, um...
396
00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:21,425
Henry dealt with the plants.
397
00:21:21,426 --> 00:21:23,469
He-- They were his thing.
398
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:26,681
He-- he loved them,
and I, um...
399
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:39,109
Diane, um, I know this
is all very overwhelming,
400
00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:40,946
and I certainly don't want
to add to that.
401
00:21:41,988 --> 00:21:43,532
But I am happy to be here.
402
00:21:44,783 --> 00:21:48,494
If only to focus
all of my assistance
403
00:21:48,495 --> 00:21:51,039
on saving that succulent.
404
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,377
- Hm.
- My God.
405
00:21:58,046 --> 00:21:59,506
Well, we, um...
406
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,800
we turned the spare
into an art studio,
407
00:22:02,801 --> 00:22:04,343
so you'll have
to sleep out here.
408
00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,803
Sure.
409
00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:06,805
Okay.
410
00:22:09,057 --> 00:22:10,558
Oh.
411
00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:12,977
- It is a bed.
- Oh, yeah, no, it's--
412
00:22:12,978 --> 00:22:14,728
- Or there's the couch.
- Yeah. Oh, maybe the couch.
413
00:22:14,729 --> 00:22:16,146
That is where he died,
though, so...
414
00:22:16,147 --> 00:22:17,481
- Wow, okay.
- ...it's up to you.
415
00:22:17,482 --> 00:22:18,566
- No, that's--
- I'll get sheets.
416
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:19,692
Thanks.
417
00:22:23,154 --> 00:22:26,323
There's no reason to be worried,
is there, for his safety?
418
00:22:26,324 --> 00:22:28,617
No, no, he wouldn't
put himself in danger.
419
00:22:28,618 --> 00:22:30,996
I probably
should have asked that first.
420
00:23:00,025 --> 00:23:01,358
Thank you for making dinner.
421
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:02,943
Oh, I didn't make.
I heated.
422
00:23:02,944 --> 00:23:04,403
It's amazing what dishes
423
00:23:04,404 --> 00:23:05,905
people are inclined
to bring over.
424
00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:08,407
According to my fridge,
you'd think I only eat
425
00:23:08,408 --> 00:23:11,285
casseroles and enchiladas.
426
00:23:12,954 --> 00:23:15,414
Well, people just like
to bring comfort food.
427
00:23:15,415 --> 00:23:17,791
Yeah, well, I've been
comforted by a salad.
428
00:23:20,128 --> 00:23:22,212
Was that genuine?
429
00:23:22,213 --> 00:23:24,882
Yes. I thought it was funny.
430
00:23:24,883 --> 00:23:27,135
Oh, just checking.
You chuckle a lot.
431
00:23:28,219 --> 00:23:30,471
But I might have to challenge
the validity
432
00:23:30,472 --> 00:23:32,473
of a comforting salad.
433
00:23:32,474 --> 00:23:35,143
Oh, I forgot to give this
to you, from Tyler.
434
00:23:37,729 --> 00:23:41,316
Yes, it's my handwriting,
but his words, dictated.
435
00:23:42,442 --> 00:23:44,652
He is good about sending cards.
436
00:23:44,653 --> 00:23:47,614
Interestingly enough,
going on about four years now.
437
00:23:53,995 --> 00:23:56,163
How'd it go with Tyler?
438
00:23:56,164 --> 00:23:59,166
Were you able to reassure him?
439
00:23:59,167 --> 00:24:01,085
Oh, yes, yeah.
But I'll hear from him again,
440
00:24:01,086 --> 00:24:03,587
and then I'll have
to reassure him all over again.
441
00:24:03,588 --> 00:24:06,424
That's the cycle.
Welcome to my world.
442
00:24:08,134 --> 00:24:10,427
Hmm. Tyler was always anxious.
443
00:24:10,428 --> 00:24:12,680
That world has not changed.
444
00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:14,723
I remember once picking him up
from kindergarten.
445
00:24:14,724 --> 00:24:18,435
He was--
He was in tears, inconsolable.
446
00:24:18,436 --> 00:24:20,187
My mind thought the worst,
you know,
447
00:24:20,188 --> 00:24:22,940
he'd been hit or bullied.
448
00:24:22,941 --> 00:24:25,234
It turns out he was just--
he was just upset
449
00:24:25,235 --> 00:24:27,653
because he was terrible
at cutting with scissors.
450
00:24:31,658 --> 00:24:34,160
Of course,
I stifled my laugh on that day.
451
00:24:35,453 --> 00:24:39,124
I validated his feelings.
My son was seen and heard.
452
00:24:40,291 --> 00:24:42,459
Plus, as I would come to learn,
453
00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:44,253
his teachers
were genuinely concerned
454
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:45,796
about his inability to cut.
455
00:24:45,797 --> 00:24:48,632
So, fuck me, I guess.
Fuck me for not knowing
456
00:24:48,633 --> 00:24:50,509
it was some kind
of developmental thing.
457
00:24:50,510 --> 00:24:52,511
Hands being able to do
different tasks
458
00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:54,138
at the same time
or something, I don't know.
459
00:24:54,139 --> 00:24:56,140
Anyway, Tyler was distraught
460
00:24:56,141 --> 00:24:58,183
because all the other kids
could do it and he couldn't.
461
00:24:58,184 --> 00:25:00,352
So, I spent that weekend
with him,
462
00:25:00,353 --> 00:25:01,895
just sitting on the floor,
463
00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:03,897
cutting up
all my good magazines.
464
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:09,028
Is he good at cutting
with scissors now?
465
00:25:09,029 --> 00:25:11,322
You know, I can't say
I've ever seen him do it.
466
00:25:11,990 --> 00:25:14,491
Maybe text him
at some point, find out.
467
00:25:14,492 --> 00:25:16,035
Be nice to know
I made a difference,
468
00:25:16,036 --> 00:25:18,997
and that my magazines
did not die in vain.
469
00:25:20,248 --> 00:25:23,668
You know, Diane,
you could text him yourself.
470
00:25:29,841 --> 00:25:31,383
And if it gives you any solace,
471
00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:33,218
I happen to know
you did make a difference,
472
00:25:33,219 --> 00:25:35,512
because Tyler told me
what it was like
473
00:25:35,513 --> 00:25:38,599
for him coming out to you,
and he said you were amazing.
474
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,142
Are you allowed
to tell me that?
475
00:25:40,143 --> 00:25:43,605
I think I can lift
the cone on this one.
476
00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:49,318
He said when he finally got up
the nerve to come out to you,
477
00:25:49,319 --> 00:25:51,821
he felt like you were
already there waiting.
478
00:25:52,906 --> 00:25:56,618
"Waiting to give him love."
Those were his exact words.
479
00:25:57,410 --> 00:25:59,411
Well, I was there.
480
00:25:59,412 --> 00:26:02,039
And I was there all the times
he almost came out.
481
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,249
I always knew he was gay
482
00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:05,626
from an early age.
483
00:26:05,627 --> 00:26:07,252
And for so many years,
there were these moments
484
00:26:07,253 --> 00:26:09,421
where he'd come into a room
where I was,
485
00:26:09,422 --> 00:26:13,425
not even the room,
just into the doorway.
486
00:26:13,426 --> 00:26:15,303
And I'd see it
right there on his face.
487
00:26:16,304 --> 00:26:18,889
And I'd think to myself
every time,
488
00:26:18,890 --> 00:26:21,308
"This is it, Diane, he's gonna
come out, don't screw it up."
489
00:26:23,436 --> 00:26:25,104
And believe me,
it took everything in my power
490
00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:26,940
not to want
to yank him out myself.
491
00:26:28,566 --> 00:26:29,567
I just...
492
00:26:30,944 --> 00:26:32,945
I just wanted him
to get to the other side of it.
493
00:26:32,946 --> 00:26:34,948
I knew it would be better there.
494
00:26:36,074 --> 00:26:38,408
I knew it was up to him,
of course.
495
00:26:38,409 --> 00:26:40,953
So, I just stayed still, calm,
496
00:26:40,954 --> 00:26:46,291
and we'd stare at each other
for what felt like forever...
497
00:26:46,292 --> 00:26:49,838
waiting on the same thing,
waiting for him to step through.
498
00:26:50,964 --> 00:26:53,006
And eventually,
all those times I'd--
499
00:26:53,007 --> 00:26:57,137
I'd I just have to watch him
push it all down and walk away.
500
00:26:58,304 --> 00:27:02,599
So, when the day came,
the day...
501
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,144
Oh, Tyler was 23,
home for Christmas,
502
00:27:05,145 --> 00:27:06,937
and I was in
the kitchen, cooking.
503
00:27:06,938 --> 00:27:09,815
And he came in like he'd done
so many times before,
504
00:27:09,816 --> 00:27:12,193
right into the doorway,
no further.
505
00:27:15,321 --> 00:27:17,781
And the look was the same.
506
00:27:17,782 --> 00:27:21,285
The fear was there, the pain,
all of it the same.
507
00:27:21,286 --> 00:27:22,829
But in that moment, I just...
508
00:27:23,872 --> 00:27:25,456
I knew I couldn't stay still.
509
00:27:26,499 --> 00:27:28,293
I knew I couldn't yank, but...
510
00:27:29,544 --> 00:27:32,379
I needed to make this
the right time for my son.
511
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:36,342
So, I just looked at him
and I said...
512
00:27:38,052 --> 00:27:39,137
"I love you."
513
00:27:40,346 --> 00:27:41,972
I mean, I'd said it
so many times before,
514
00:27:41,973 --> 00:27:43,808
but I guess
never like that, like...
515
00:27:44,851 --> 00:27:47,312
like reassurance.
516
00:27:48,396 --> 00:27:49,981
As if maybe he'd forgotten.
517
00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:55,195
And with that,
Tyler just exhaled.
518
00:27:56,237 --> 00:27:58,697
And I watched it
all fall away.
519
00:27:58,698 --> 00:28:02,410
And I watched my son
step into the room.
520
00:28:06,331 --> 00:28:07,831
- Wow.
- Mm.
521
00:28:07,832 --> 00:28:10,376
- Hm.
- And then,
we made dinner together.
522
00:28:11,336 --> 00:28:12,337
In fact...
523
00:28:13,338 --> 00:28:14,671
we made a comforting salad.
524
00:28:17,217 --> 00:28:18,759
Well, no offense to scissors,
525
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,555
but I think that is a--
a bigger difference.
526
00:28:25,391 --> 00:28:28,518
Tyler is very lucky
to have you as a mom.
527
00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:29,562
Mm.
528
00:28:30,521 --> 00:28:31,689
And what about you?
529
00:28:32,690 --> 00:28:34,400
Were you lucky
with your parents?
530
00:28:35,401 --> 00:28:37,027
Um...
531
00:28:37,028 --> 00:28:38,570
- You-- you don't have to say.
- No, no, no. No.
532
00:28:38,571 --> 00:28:40,864
I-- I'd like to think
I would have been, yeah.
533
00:28:40,865 --> 00:28:44,244
But um, I lost both my parents
before I, uh...
534
00:28:46,037 --> 00:28:48,205
I came out later
than I should ha--
I mean, not should have.
535
00:28:48,206 --> 00:28:49,915
I came out when I was ready
and I wasn't ready
536
00:28:49,916 --> 00:28:52,793
until I was 35, and...
537
00:28:52,794 --> 00:28:55,379
they both passed away
within a year of each other.
538
00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:58,548
It was, um, cancer came
for both of them.
539
00:28:58,549 --> 00:29:00,718
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you. Thank you.
540
00:29:01,636 --> 00:29:03,428
- Do you have any siblings?
- No.
541
00:29:03,429 --> 00:29:05,973
Uh, I'm an only child,
as was my dad.
542
00:29:05,974 --> 00:29:08,475
And my mom
didn't talk to her sister,
543
00:29:08,476 --> 00:29:11,145
and I hear she's gone now, too.
So, no, it's just me.
544
00:29:12,647 --> 00:29:14,481
That must have been difficult.
545
00:29:14,482 --> 00:29:16,276
Caring for both of them
on your own?
546
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,446
Yeah.
547
00:29:21,447 --> 00:29:23,074
Yeah, it was. But, um...
548
00:29:24,284 --> 00:29:25,576
But, you know, I mean...
549
00:29:26,744 --> 00:29:28,996
we weren't really given
a choice in the matter.
550
00:29:28,997 --> 00:29:31,291
We just had to get
good at it fast, right?
551
00:29:33,584 --> 00:29:34,919
- Yes, we did.
- Hmm.
552
00:29:38,423 --> 00:29:41,425
If you don't mind... me asking,
553
00:29:41,426 --> 00:29:43,427
do you know
why you did wait?
554
00:29:43,428 --> 00:29:46,097
Why you weren't ready
until you were?
555
00:29:49,767 --> 00:29:51,019
I imagine I do.
556
00:29:52,270 --> 00:29:53,271
Yeah.
557
00:29:54,981 --> 00:29:56,357
Uh...
558
00:30:01,779 --> 00:30:03,697
Not that I can't drink alone,
559
00:30:03,698 --> 00:30:06,326
but can I, uh, get you a glass?
560
00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:10,621
Yeah.
561
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,665
Thank you.
562
00:31:00,046 --> 00:31:02,507
Oh. What did she do here?
563
00:31:03,508 --> 00:31:05,509
- Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.
564
00:31:05,510 --> 00:31:08,095
Well, I'm afraid
it was overwatered,
565
00:31:08,096 --> 00:31:09,763
so I'm just gonna
let the leaves
566
00:31:09,764 --> 00:31:11,890
and the roots dry out
a little bit.
567
00:31:11,891 --> 00:31:13,433
It's worth a shot.
568
00:31:13,434 --> 00:31:15,602
Oh, and I, um,
I emptied your dishwasher,
569
00:31:15,603 --> 00:31:18,271
but I wasn't sure
where those platters went.
570
00:31:18,272 --> 00:31:20,357
And I made some coffee.
571
00:31:20,358 --> 00:31:22,567
What happened to just
focusing on the succulent?
572
00:31:22,568 --> 00:31:23,902
I'm sorry,
I couldn't help myself.
573
00:31:23,903 --> 00:31:25,570
I kinda get off on this stuff,
574
00:31:25,571 --> 00:31:27,740
and I instantly regret
saying "get off."
575
00:31:29,283 --> 00:31:32,077
And did you "get off"
on feeding the cat, too?
576
00:31:32,078 --> 00:31:34,579
Uh, yes.
Again, sorry, I just--
577
00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:36,415
I noticed the bowl was empty.
578
00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:37,791
Well, that one's
all for naught.
579
00:31:37,792 --> 00:31:39,877
The cat was carried off
by an owl, so...
580
00:31:42,213 --> 00:31:44,798
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, he was sunning
out on the patio.
581
00:31:44,799 --> 00:31:48,176
An owl swooped down,
and off they went.
582
00:31:48,177 --> 00:31:50,304
All that was left
was a piece of his tail.
583
00:31:51,305 --> 00:31:53,057
- That's a thing?
- All the time.
584
00:31:53,766 --> 00:31:57,561
Henry insisted we leave
the bowl out because,
585
00:31:57,562 --> 00:31:59,396
I don't know,
maybe he thought the owl
586
00:31:59,397 --> 00:32:01,731
would circle back
and drop the cat off?
587
00:32:04,068 --> 00:32:05,819
I'm sorry, that's horrible.
588
00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:07,613
The act of it, yes, but...
589
00:32:09,198 --> 00:32:11,284
Barnaby only really
loved Henry, so...
590
00:32:13,244 --> 00:32:14,995
I'm thinking
this is a good thing.
591
00:32:14,996 --> 00:32:16,414
They're together again.
592
00:32:25,465 --> 00:32:27,508
That goes down there,
and that in the corner.
593
00:32:28,634 --> 00:32:29,635
Yes.
594
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,976
Any word from Tyler?
595
00:32:38,603 --> 00:32:40,645
Yeah, um, yeah, sorry.
596
00:32:40,646 --> 00:32:44,108
It's-- It's-- It's not safe, unfortunately.
597
00:32:45,109 --> 00:32:47,278
And I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned.
598
00:32:54,952 --> 00:32:56,703
Diane!
599
00:32:56,704 --> 00:32:58,455
- Oh, shit.
- Diane!
600
00:32:58,456 --> 00:32:59,957
Oh.
601
00:33:00,958 --> 00:33:03,502
- Diane.
- Oh. Hi, Judith.
602
00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:05,003
- Hi.
- Love the turquoise.
603
00:33:05,004 --> 00:33:06,713
Oh, thanks. Can't get enough.
604
00:33:06,714 --> 00:33:08,924
- Seems like it.
- Yes.
605
00:33:08,925 --> 00:33:10,300
This is Judith,
my next door neighbor.
606
00:33:10,301 --> 00:33:12,135
And this is Jamie.
607
00:33:12,136 --> 00:33:13,803
A gift from my son.
608
00:33:13,804 --> 00:33:15,472
Oh!
609
00:33:15,473 --> 00:33:17,557
That's very sweet.
Nice to meet you.
610
00:33:17,558 --> 00:33:18,809
Nice to meet you.
611
00:33:20,144 --> 00:33:21,520
And how are you?
612
00:33:21,521 --> 00:33:23,730
I'm doing okay, thank you.
613
00:33:23,731 --> 00:33:26,317
Well, I hate to pile on
more troubling news.
614
00:33:27,401 --> 00:33:29,027
Yeah. My Chipper is missing.
615
00:33:29,028 --> 00:33:30,904
Oh, no, that is more troubling.
616
00:33:30,905 --> 00:33:32,989
Yes, it's my chihuahua.
617
00:33:32,990 --> 00:33:34,157
- Oh.
- Mix.
618
00:33:34,158 --> 00:33:36,576
I mean, purebred, uh, mix.
619
00:33:36,577 --> 00:33:37,994
Wow.
620
00:33:37,995 --> 00:33:40,163
Trying to stay positive.
621
00:33:40,164 --> 00:33:43,041
You know, gotta keep
hope alive.
622
00:33:43,042 --> 00:33:44,335
You know.
623
00:33:46,170 --> 00:33:49,005
- I do know.
- Well, if either of you see him,
624
00:33:49,006 --> 00:33:50,674
just give me a call.
625
00:33:50,675 --> 00:33:52,384
- Sure. Oh.
- And if I don't answer,
626
00:33:52,385 --> 00:33:54,886
of course I'll call right back,
but I'll probably answer.
627
00:33:54,887 --> 00:33:56,680
- Oh.
- And all prayers welcome.
628
00:33:56,681 --> 00:33:58,181
- Sure.
- Thank you so much.
629
00:33:58,182 --> 00:34:00,350
- God bless.
- Bye-bye.
630
00:34:00,351 --> 00:34:03,353
Ooh, Marci! Hello, girl!
631
00:34:03,354 --> 00:34:04,854
Hold up.
632
00:34:04,855 --> 00:34:07,232
Diane, I think her dog--
633
00:34:07,233 --> 00:34:09,735
Yeah, a hawk.
I saw it happen from the window.
634
00:34:11,988 --> 00:34:14,197
- Should we tell her?
- You heard her.
635
00:34:14,198 --> 00:34:15,700
She needs to keep hope alive.
636
00:34:16,701 --> 00:34:18,702
- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.
637
00:34:18,703 --> 00:34:23,039
I'm beginning to understand this
whole green chile obsession.
638
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,709
It's basically a cult.
639
00:34:26,752 --> 00:34:28,379
Henry couldn't get enough, either.
640
00:34:30,548 --> 00:34:34,551
Oh, do you want to start a--
a list of things we need to do?
641
00:34:34,552 --> 00:34:37,429
I have one. Henry made it.
642
00:34:37,430 --> 00:34:39,306
- Oh.
- He found it
to be one of the perks
643
00:34:39,307 --> 00:34:40,725
of knowing his "end date."
644
00:34:41,726 --> 00:34:42,892
His words.
645
00:34:42,893 --> 00:34:44,061
I haven't opened it.
646
00:34:45,563 --> 00:34:48,356
Are you sure you want me to?
I mean, it might be a note.
647
00:34:48,357 --> 00:34:51,444
I was by his side in the end,
we said everything.
648
00:34:52,737 --> 00:34:53,738
Okay.
649
00:34:56,657 --> 00:34:57,658
Alrighty.
650
00:35:00,494 --> 00:35:02,246
Yep. See, just a list.
651
00:35:04,749 --> 00:35:07,751
"Henry's Exit Strategy.
652
00:35:07,752 --> 00:35:09,794
"Number one,
I want a fully stocked bar
653
00:35:09,795 --> 00:35:11,630
"at the reception,
but no champagne.
654
00:35:11,631 --> 00:35:14,008
"I hate it, so no one
toast me with it.
655
00:35:15,259 --> 00:35:17,344
"Number two,
music at the service.
656
00:35:17,345 --> 00:35:19,429
"You know me, Diane.
I don't do subtle.
657
00:35:19,430 --> 00:35:21,306
"So, Beach Boys'
'God Only Knows'
658
00:35:21,307 --> 00:35:23,475
"as the guests arrive.
And as they leave,
659
00:35:23,476 --> 00:35:26,687
Barry White's 'You're the First,
the Last, My Everything.'"
660
00:35:27,772 --> 00:35:31,274
Well, that's not gonna
fly with his church.
661
00:35:31,275 --> 00:35:33,360
Well, his church
hasn't met me yet.
662
00:35:33,361 --> 00:35:34,779
And you haven't met his church.
663
00:35:35,946 --> 00:35:37,947
- Well, then they'll
do it for you.
- No.
664
00:35:37,948 --> 00:35:40,867
They don't know me.
They know of me.
665
00:35:40,868 --> 00:35:43,328
I'd drop Henry off
and pick him up.
666
00:35:43,329 --> 00:35:45,623
Henry made friends here,
I made acquaintances.
667
00:35:46,499 --> 00:35:48,833
Well, then they'll do it
for Henry.
668
00:35:48,834 --> 00:35:49,835
What else?
669
00:35:51,545 --> 00:35:54,839
Uh, "Number three, flowers.
I leave that up to you, Diane.
670
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,718
"Fill the church with whatever
makes you feel New York.
671
00:35:59,303 --> 00:36:00,388
"One stipulation.
672
00:36:02,431 --> 00:36:05,225
You must purchase the flowers
from Doris Kato's cousin."
673
00:36:05,226 --> 00:36:06,685
Are you fucking kidding me?
674
00:36:06,686 --> 00:36:08,144
"Her name is Kathy,
by the way.
675
00:36:08,145 --> 00:36:09,521
I know you weren't listening."
676
00:36:09,522 --> 00:36:10,731
My God.
677
00:36:11,816 --> 00:36:13,066
- "Number four."
- What?
678
00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:15,194
Invite Kathy to the service?
679
00:36:17,530 --> 00:36:18,989
"Finish my painting."
680
00:36:24,036 --> 00:36:26,538
Well, that's not happening.
I can't paint.
681
00:36:26,539 --> 00:36:29,082
"It doesn't matter
that you can't paint, Diane.
682
00:36:29,083 --> 00:36:30,710
"Painting brought us together.
683
00:36:31,669 --> 00:36:33,713
I want you to finish
what I couldn't."
684
00:36:34,755 --> 00:36:36,589
Well...
685
00:36:36,590 --> 00:36:38,509
It is finished.
That's how I want it.
686
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:42,345
Well, it might be cool
to have some--
687
00:36:42,346 --> 00:36:44,181
Are there any other numbers,
or is that it?
688
00:36:52,231 --> 00:36:54,899
Can you be done?
We've got a lot to do.
689
00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:57,402
Yeah, I-- yeah, I can be done.
690
00:36:57,403 --> 00:36:58,404
Hello?
691
00:37:00,072 --> 00:37:03,199
I just want to reiterate, again,
how very honored I am
692
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,868
to be entrusted
with these arrangements.
693
00:37:04,869 --> 00:37:06,536
Well, that's the hope.
But I should warn you,
694
00:37:06,537 --> 00:37:08,288
my husband was very specific.
695
00:37:08,289 --> 00:37:10,457
He wants to feel New York,
so I'm not sure if you even--
696
00:37:10,458 --> 00:37:12,292
Of course. Spring? Summer?
697
00:37:12,293 --> 00:37:15,211
- What was his favorite season?
- Spring. But specifically,
698
00:37:15,212 --> 00:37:17,213
- it should include tulips.
- We should start with my tulips.
699
00:37:17,214 --> 00:37:18,715
And I'm gonna want
a wide variety of colors--
700
00:37:18,716 --> 00:37:19,799
You won't believe
all the colors.
701
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,301
Well, it's one thing to say it.
702
00:37:21,302 --> 00:37:23,553
But you need to see them.
Of course.
703
00:37:28,434 --> 00:37:29,809
Your signature, please.
704
00:37:29,810 --> 00:37:31,896
And just the deposit
is due today.
705
00:37:32,730 --> 00:37:34,606
Um, Kathy,
the succulent,
706
00:37:34,607 --> 00:37:36,900
the one that Henry
and Diane bought here,
707
00:37:36,901 --> 00:37:38,443
um, it's not doing well.
708
00:37:38,444 --> 00:37:40,320
- Oh, no.
- I know.
709
00:37:40,321 --> 00:37:42,490
I know, and I'm wondering
if maybe it wasn't in the...
710
00:37:43,616 --> 00:37:46,284
healthiest of conditions
when they got it?
711
00:37:46,285 --> 00:37:49,162
'Cause it doesn't seem like
they did anything wrong.
712
00:37:49,163 --> 00:37:51,498
And it's likely Diane
will be able to save it,
713
00:37:51,499 --> 00:37:54,417
- but it's just, you know,
it's a little disappointing.
- Of course.
714
00:37:54,418 --> 00:37:56,294
- I-- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no.
715
00:37:56,295 --> 00:37:58,797
I only mention it
because of Henry.
716
00:37:58,798 --> 00:38:00,673
Because he just--
he loved plants,
717
00:38:00,674 --> 00:38:03,427
and they were very much
a passion of his.
718
00:38:04,470 --> 00:38:06,638
And your cousin
recommended you.
719
00:38:06,639 --> 00:38:08,181
No. Say no more.
720
00:38:08,182 --> 00:38:09,933
Please, let me try
and make it right.
721
00:38:09,934 --> 00:38:11,100
30% off.
722
00:38:11,101 --> 00:38:13,436
What? No. Oh, Kathy.
723
00:38:13,437 --> 00:38:15,022
- No, I insist.
- Thank you. Well, thank you.
724
00:38:17,650 --> 00:38:19,609
Take your victory lap quickly.
725
00:38:19,610 --> 00:38:21,444
Can you believe
this cold weather?
726
00:38:21,445 --> 00:38:24,113
I mean, I've been here a while,
but when you hear "desert,"
727
00:38:24,114 --> 00:38:25,532
- you think...
- It's gotta be hot!
728
00:38:25,533 --> 00:38:26,617
- No.
- I know.
729
00:38:29,870 --> 00:38:31,830
So, maybe in a day or so,
we'll just give it
730
00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:33,457
a little misting.
731
00:38:35,334 --> 00:38:37,377
Are you picking out
some photos to display?
732
00:38:37,378 --> 00:38:39,963
Yes, I do have some ideas
for my husband's funeral.
733
00:38:41,966 --> 00:38:43,508
Oh, wow.
734
00:38:43,509 --> 00:38:44,510
Tyler.
735
00:38:46,136 --> 00:38:47,387
Yep.
736
00:38:47,388 --> 00:38:48,806
Always adorable.
737
00:38:57,648 --> 00:38:59,023
Aw.
738
00:38:59,024 --> 00:39:01,860
Tyler has this one
framed in his house.
739
00:39:01,861 --> 00:39:03,862
Mm.
740
00:39:03,863 --> 00:39:05,363
Has he told you
a lot about his dad?
741
00:39:05,364 --> 00:39:06,657
Oh, yeah.
742
00:39:08,492 --> 00:39:09,993
I mean, mentioned, really.
743
00:39:09,994 --> 00:39:11,328
I mean, just like pieces, not...
744
00:39:12,496 --> 00:39:15,415
Well, I'll have to give you
more photos of them
745
00:39:15,416 --> 00:39:16,750
to take back to LA.
746
00:39:18,335 --> 00:39:19,712
For sure.
747
00:39:21,255 --> 00:39:22,839
Who's this kid?
748
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,258
There's a lot of pictures
of them together.
749
00:39:25,259 --> 00:39:27,427
Is he a-- Is he a cousin?
750
00:39:27,428 --> 00:39:29,512
No, that's Bobby,
his first boyfriend.
751
00:39:34,768 --> 00:39:36,185
What?
752
00:39:36,186 --> 00:39:37,187
No!
753
00:39:38,188 --> 00:39:39,440
They're like, what, 11?
754
00:39:40,357 --> 00:39:41,858
Ten.
755
00:39:41,859 --> 00:39:43,234
They didn't say
they were boyfriends,
756
00:39:43,235 --> 00:39:44,694
but I knew.
757
00:39:44,695 --> 00:39:46,863
I actually caught them once.
They didn't see me,
758
00:39:46,864 --> 00:39:48,781
but yeah,
I caught them exploring.
759
00:39:48,782 --> 00:39:50,284
Nothing scandalous.
760
00:39:52,036 --> 00:39:54,037
- That had to be rough.
- Why?
761
00:39:54,038 --> 00:39:55,872
I told you,
I always knew he was gay.
762
00:39:55,873 --> 00:39:57,916
Well, it's one thing to know,
it's another thing to see them--
763
00:39:57,917 --> 00:39:59,542
I mean, what did you even say?
764
00:39:59,543 --> 00:40:02,253
I said nothing, to this day.
765
00:40:02,254 --> 00:40:04,547
I never wanted him to feel
that anything was wrong
766
00:40:04,548 --> 00:40:06,884
with what they were doing
or what they might be feeling.
767
00:40:10,304 --> 00:40:11,805
Wow, that's, um...
768
00:40:13,974 --> 00:40:15,059
Okay.
769
00:40:15,809 --> 00:40:18,728
So, uh, are Tyler
and Bobby still in touch?
770
00:40:18,729 --> 00:40:20,730
- I imagine so. Why?
- I don't know.
771
00:40:20,731 --> 00:40:23,067
You know, he was cute.
At least then.
772
00:40:23,776 --> 00:40:27,320
He's hot now.
Big-time interior designer.
773
00:40:27,321 --> 00:40:29,322
Great taste.
774
00:40:29,323 --> 00:40:31,407
He actually lives in LA, too.
775
00:40:31,408 --> 00:40:33,785
I'm surprised
you've never met him.
776
00:40:33,786 --> 00:40:36,245
I mean, you know,
Tyler doesn't include me
777
00:40:36,246 --> 00:40:37,288
in all of his circles,
778
00:40:37,289 --> 00:40:39,666
and he does not want
for friends.
779
00:40:39,667 --> 00:40:42,961
I imagine he does not want for
more than just friends, either.
780
00:40:42,962 --> 00:40:44,963
Not if he's still like he was
when he came out.
781
00:40:44,964 --> 00:40:46,756
Maybe even before he came out.
782
00:40:46,757 --> 00:40:48,591
I don't know, I just know
there was a revolving door
783
00:40:48,592 --> 00:40:50,093
of men who fell for Tyler.
784
00:40:52,471 --> 00:40:55,766
Well, maybe one day Tyler
will introduce you to Bobby.
785
00:40:57,476 --> 00:40:59,018
Yeah.
If he does, he does.
786
00:40:59,019 --> 00:41:00,020
Mm.
787
00:41:02,731 --> 00:41:05,109
So, have you ever gone
through the revolving door?
788
00:41:06,276 --> 00:41:07,610
What?
789
00:41:07,611 --> 00:41:09,446
Tyler's revolving door.
790
00:41:10,531 --> 00:41:13,825
- No, we're just friends.
- Not even for a night?
791
00:41:13,826 --> 00:41:17,120
The night you two met,
when you "offered yourself up"?
792
00:41:17,121 --> 00:41:19,790
That's not...
I went home alone.
793
00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:22,875
No, Tyler and I agreed
from early on
794
00:41:22,876 --> 00:41:26,671
that our relationship
was different, what with work.
795
00:41:26,672 --> 00:41:29,008
Oh, so there was
talk of it, though?
796
00:41:30,050 --> 00:41:32,260
- Oh, inevitably.
- Inevitably?
797
00:41:32,261 --> 00:41:34,303
Inevitably. You know, you spend
a lot of time with someone,
798
00:41:34,304 --> 00:41:36,347
you get to know them,
you start to care for them.
799
00:41:36,348 --> 00:41:38,850
Yeah, you can inevitably
start to wonder.
800
00:41:38,851 --> 00:41:41,185
- And you did?
- Well, we both did.
801
00:41:41,186 --> 00:41:43,646
We both wondered,
but we agreed,
802
00:41:43,647 --> 00:41:45,481
uh, we decided on friendship.
803
00:41:45,482 --> 00:41:46,942
- Who decided?
- We both did.
804
00:41:47,985 --> 00:41:49,986
- Quit trying
to cut him out of this.
- No, I-- I...
805
00:41:49,987 --> 00:41:51,487
I just-- I know Tyler
806
00:41:51,488 --> 00:41:53,157
in relationships.
I don't know you.
807
00:41:54,324 --> 00:41:56,409
Well, rest assured,
we went down that road together,
808
00:41:56,410 --> 00:41:58,036
and we got off
that road together.
809
00:41:58,037 --> 00:41:59,662
- Mm-hmm.
- At a certain point,
810
00:41:59,663 --> 00:42:01,205
I expressed feelings for Tyler,
811
00:42:01,206 --> 00:42:03,583
and Tyler in turn
expressed feelings for me,
812
00:42:03,584 --> 00:42:06,044
but he also admitted
he wasn't there yet
813
00:42:06,045 --> 00:42:08,254
and wasn't ready
for a relationship.
814
00:42:08,255 --> 00:42:10,631
Oh, so you went further down
the road than he did?
815
00:42:10,632 --> 00:42:12,717
- Oh, my God.
- I'm just trying to clarify.
816
00:42:12,718 --> 00:42:14,177
No, you're trying
to interrogate,
817
00:42:14,178 --> 00:42:16,345
and there's nothing
to interrogate.
818
00:42:16,346 --> 00:42:17,513
I know my life, Diane.
819
00:42:17,514 --> 00:42:19,432
I know my life with Tyler.
Trust me.
820
00:42:19,433 --> 00:42:20,516
- Understood.
- Thank you.
821
00:42:20,517 --> 00:42:22,060
We'll just leave it
at that, then.
822
00:42:22,061 --> 00:42:24,312
- Great.
- You expressed your feelings.
823
00:42:24,313 --> 00:42:27,023
Tyler had similar ones,
but he wasn't there yet.
824
00:42:27,024 --> 00:42:30,694
And at a certain point,
you decided to just be friends.
825
00:42:33,030 --> 00:42:34,655
There's a little more
to it than that.
826
00:42:34,656 --> 00:42:37,241
Well, that's all I know.
Maybe we do a charcuterie board.
827
00:42:37,242 --> 00:42:39,035
At a certain point,
Tyler did say
828
00:42:39,036 --> 00:42:40,745
he was open to an "us."
829
00:42:40,746 --> 00:42:42,205
I don't have to be
in the know.
830
00:42:42,206 --> 00:42:43,664
Well, this is just
so you understand.
831
00:42:43,665 --> 00:42:45,208
This was after we decided
on friendship.
832
00:42:45,209 --> 00:42:47,085
It was actually
a good while after.
833
00:42:47,086 --> 00:42:48,419
Okay.
834
00:42:48,420 --> 00:42:50,630
It was on my birthday, actually.
835
00:42:50,631 --> 00:42:53,800
Tyler took me to dinner,
and that's when he said it.
836
00:42:53,801 --> 00:42:56,219
Out of nowhere, he said
he was open to an "us,"
837
00:42:56,220 --> 00:42:58,554
and I was taken aback.
838
00:42:58,555 --> 00:43:00,890
I mean, in a good way.
And I smiled
839
00:43:00,891 --> 00:43:03,851
and said something like,
"I would love that."
840
00:43:03,852 --> 00:43:07,230
And then, we proceeded
to have a very nice dinner.
841
00:43:07,231 --> 00:43:09,440
And then, I went back
to my apartment,
842
00:43:09,441 --> 00:43:14,071
and I woke up to a voicemail
from Tyler the next day...
843
00:43:16,323 --> 00:43:17,825
taking it all back.
844
00:43:20,953 --> 00:43:23,287
Yeah, Tyler said he got home
and he panicked,
845
00:43:23,288 --> 00:43:25,957
and apologized that this
was all happening
846
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:27,917
on my birthday.
847
00:43:27,918 --> 00:43:30,419
Uh, but yeah,
he was still conflicted.
848
00:43:30,420 --> 00:43:33,674
- About what?
- About the idea of me with him.
849
00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,801
We all have types.
850
00:43:36,802 --> 00:43:38,678
It's just the way it is.
851
00:43:38,679 --> 00:43:40,972
And Tyler was worried
that he would ultimately end up
852
00:43:40,973 --> 00:43:43,183
just hurting me
and ruining our friendship.
853
00:43:44,101 --> 00:43:46,102
Needless to say,
I was pissed and I told him
854
00:43:46,103 --> 00:43:48,313
I needed to take
some time alone...
855
00:43:49,523 --> 00:43:50,940
and that I didn't wanna
hear from him,
856
00:43:50,941 --> 00:43:52,692
and he was not
to reach out to me.
857
00:43:52,693 --> 00:43:54,152
And he said he understood.
858
00:43:54,153 --> 00:43:55,945
I mean, he had no choice
but to understand.
859
00:43:55,946 --> 00:43:57,446
And he was also to understand
860
00:43:57,447 --> 00:43:59,115
that if I was to come back,
861
00:43:59,116 --> 00:44:00,992
it would be on my terms.
862
00:44:00,993 --> 00:44:03,202
- And you came back?
- Yeah.
863
00:44:03,203 --> 00:44:06,330
But in the way
that I wanted to-- needed to.
864
00:44:06,331 --> 00:44:09,000
And you're okay with that?
With things between you two
865
00:44:09,001 --> 00:44:10,543
not being the way you want?
866
00:44:10,544 --> 00:44:11,962
Yeah, obviously.
I'm here.
867
00:44:13,213 --> 00:44:15,464
Okay. Just making sure.
868
00:44:15,465 --> 00:44:17,467
I know it's not easy
to let go of my son.
869
00:44:36,570 --> 00:44:38,070
- You got it?
- Yep.
870
00:44:38,071 --> 00:44:39,072
Alright.
871
00:44:47,414 --> 00:44:49,081
- Did you move the painting?
- I did.
872
00:44:49,082 --> 00:44:50,583
I thought maybe you would
want it out of the way.
873
00:44:50,584 --> 00:44:52,168
No, I need it where it was.
Put it back.
874
00:44:52,169 --> 00:44:53,170
Please.
875
00:44:54,504 --> 00:44:56,715
- Of course. I'm sorry.
- It's alright.
876
00:45:03,847 --> 00:45:07,392
How do you feel about me
boxing some of that up?
877
00:45:08,936 --> 00:45:12,104
I could look into some
take-back programs.
878
00:45:12,105 --> 00:45:13,981
That's what I did
with my parents' medication.
879
00:45:13,982 --> 00:45:16,400
It's just a place
to properly dispose of it.
880
00:45:16,401 --> 00:45:17,402
Fine.
881
00:45:19,404 --> 00:45:21,405
Wow, that's a great picture
of Henry.
882
00:45:21,406 --> 00:45:23,741
Is it-- is that your place
in New York?
883
00:45:23,742 --> 00:45:25,701
Loft in Chelsea.
884
00:45:25,702 --> 00:45:27,745
- So, these are all
of your choices?
- Mm-hmm.
885
00:45:27,746 --> 00:45:29,413
Okay.
886
00:45:29,414 --> 00:45:31,624
- What?
- Nothing.
887
00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:35,211
No, go ahead.
"Get off" on your opinion.
888
00:45:35,212 --> 00:45:36,963
It just seems like it's
a lot of Henry
889
00:45:36,964 --> 00:45:38,631
from your time back east.
890
00:45:38,632 --> 00:45:42,635
- Where we spent 26 years.
- Well, and here for over three,
891
00:45:42,636 --> 00:45:44,428
and a lot of the people
who are gonna be attending--
892
00:45:44,429 --> 00:45:47,515
This is not about them.
This is about Henry.
893
00:45:47,516 --> 00:45:50,143
And New York was
our happy place, not just mine.
894
00:45:54,273 --> 00:45:56,108
- Diane, it's okay to embrace--
- This is Henry!
895
00:46:02,906 --> 00:46:03,907
Yes.
896
00:46:11,748 --> 00:46:13,416
With my parents,
897
00:46:13,417 --> 00:46:17,378
I remember I just--
I had the hardest time
898
00:46:17,379 --> 00:46:19,630
picking out pictures of them
to display.
899
00:46:19,631 --> 00:46:22,801
And I'm just speaking
for myself here.
900
00:46:24,928 --> 00:46:27,680
You know, I just wanted
to see them at their best.
901
00:46:27,681 --> 00:46:30,516
And then, I would look at these
pictures that I had taken later
902
00:46:30,517 --> 00:46:32,601
when their bodies had been--
903
00:46:32,602 --> 00:46:35,521
When I knew
what was happening in there.
904
00:46:35,522 --> 00:46:37,106
And these--
and these pictures were just--
905
00:46:37,107 --> 00:46:39,025
It was little stuff,
candid things, you know.
906
00:46:39,026 --> 00:46:41,987
It was them laughing,
or reading, or...
907
00:46:42,988 --> 00:46:44,864
sitting on the porch
or the couch
908
00:46:44,865 --> 00:46:46,450
holding hands and...
909
00:46:48,785 --> 00:46:51,579
I don't know, I guess I realized
those were the moments
910
00:46:51,580 --> 00:46:53,874
that I was really seeing them
at their best.
911
00:46:55,792 --> 00:46:57,961
That despite everything,
they were just...
912
00:46:59,463 --> 00:47:00,464
being.
913
00:47:04,718 --> 00:47:06,302
- Okay.
- What?
914
00:47:06,303 --> 00:47:08,179
No, I hear you.
915
00:47:08,180 --> 00:47:09,680
It's just a thought.
916
00:47:09,681 --> 00:47:11,641
No, you have a very good point.
917
00:47:23,987 --> 00:47:25,364
- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.
918
00:47:26,448 --> 00:47:28,366
If you need another blanket,
just let me know.
919
00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:30,534
Oh, no, I'm sure
that's-- that's fine.
920
00:47:30,535 --> 00:47:33,829
- Thank you very much.
- I appreciate you being so open
921
00:47:33,830 --> 00:47:35,247
about your parents.
922
00:47:35,248 --> 00:47:36,416
Of course.
923
00:47:43,006 --> 00:47:45,258
For me, toward the end
with Henry...
924
00:47:46,259 --> 00:47:48,511
we-- we didn't know
it was the end.
925
00:47:48,512 --> 00:47:51,014
And had I known,
I would never have...
926
00:47:52,557 --> 00:47:55,351
One night,
Henry had taken a fall.
927
00:47:55,352 --> 00:47:58,187
He had been sleeping
out here for a while.
928
00:47:58,188 --> 00:48:00,356
Navigating had become difficult.
929
00:48:00,357 --> 00:48:02,858
And he fell trying
to get to the bathroom.
930
00:48:02,859 --> 00:48:05,153
I was sleeping in--
in our bedroom.
931
00:48:06,196 --> 00:48:10,200
His voice had become weak
and gravelly by then, so...
932
00:48:13,870 --> 00:48:15,747
I don't know how long
he had been...
933
00:48:29,052 --> 00:48:32,055
So, I don't know how long he had
been calling out for help.
934
00:48:34,057 --> 00:48:36,642
He had soiled himself,
and I tried to get him up.
935
00:48:36,643 --> 00:48:38,727
I couldn't,
so I ran to the neighbors,
936
00:48:38,728 --> 00:48:41,272
the newer neighbors
just a few doors down.
937
00:48:41,273 --> 00:48:42,773
Uh, Henry knew them.
938
00:48:42,774 --> 00:48:45,569
Of course,
I hadn't even bothered to...
939
00:48:48,738 --> 00:48:51,949
I pounded on the door,
940
00:48:51,950 --> 00:48:53,659
and the young man answers.
941
00:48:56,079 --> 00:48:57,914
Chris, I should say his name.
Chris.
942
00:48:58,957 --> 00:49:00,125
I don't think I...
943
00:49:02,169 --> 00:49:03,961
explained much,
maybe three words,
944
00:49:03,962 --> 00:49:05,504
"Henry had fallen,"
945
00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:07,089
and Chris was already
on his way.
946
00:49:07,090 --> 00:49:08,674
He came right in,
he swooped Henry up
947
00:49:08,675 --> 00:49:10,676
like nothing, like air.
948
00:49:10,677 --> 00:49:11,928
And Henry said...
949
00:49:12,971 --> 00:49:15,598
"My Prince Charming, you came."
950
00:49:18,101 --> 00:49:20,144
Chris laughed
and Henry laughed,
951
00:49:20,145 --> 00:49:23,273
and I said, "Well,
that's a stupid fucking joke."
952
00:49:24,524 --> 00:49:26,109
I yelled it, actually.
953
00:49:27,277 --> 00:49:28,777
I was so mad,
954
00:49:28,778 --> 00:49:31,530
so mad at having to make
everything bearable.
955
00:49:31,531 --> 00:49:33,782
And-- and this is just
so you understand
956
00:49:33,783 --> 00:49:35,452
why I need that painting there.
957
00:49:37,162 --> 00:49:38,537
'Cause I hate it.
958
00:49:38,538 --> 00:49:40,789
Like I hated that joke,
959
00:49:40,790 --> 00:49:43,292
because it reminds me
of how I was.
960
00:49:43,293 --> 00:49:45,127
I-I don't see the beauty
of him painting it.
961
00:49:45,128 --> 00:49:48,672
I see the tragedy of him
not finishing it.
962
00:49:48,673 --> 00:49:52,092
I see me hating his body because
it wouldn't listen to him,
963
00:49:52,093 --> 00:49:54,678
hating how long it took him
to put on his seat belt,
964
00:49:54,679 --> 00:49:56,722
or to find the breath
to tell a story
965
00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:58,807
he told so many times before.
966
00:49:58,808 --> 00:50:00,559
I see me...
967
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,645
...angry and frustrated
and short,
968
00:50:02,646 --> 00:50:04,064
and I see Henry...
969
00:50:05,815 --> 00:50:08,318
patient and joyful and loving...
970
00:50:09,361 --> 00:50:11,820
all for me so I'd feel better.
971
00:50:11,821 --> 00:50:13,323
The one who wasn't dying.
972
00:50:14,991 --> 00:50:17,993
When I look at that,
I see me still here
973
00:50:17,994 --> 00:50:20,162
without the only man
who ever truly knew me,
974
00:50:20,163 --> 00:50:22,581
everything about me,
975
00:50:22,582 --> 00:50:25,043
and stayed despite that.
976
00:50:26,503 --> 00:50:28,213
I need that there so I see me.
977
00:50:32,175 --> 00:50:33,634
Good night.
978
00:51:16,219 --> 00:51:18,053
I selected a few options
for scripture readings
979
00:51:18,054 --> 00:51:21,890
for the service, ones that
I know Henry was fond of
980
00:51:21,891 --> 00:51:24,476
- from our Bible study class.
- Okay.
981
00:51:24,477 --> 00:51:27,062
There's John 15:11.
982
00:51:27,063 --> 00:51:29,898
"That My joy
may remain in you
983
00:51:29,899 --> 00:51:31,735
and that your joy may be full."
984
00:51:32,736 --> 00:51:35,321
- Well--
- There's also John 14,
one through three--
985
00:51:35,322 --> 00:51:37,740
Okay, I will trust you
with the Bible stuff.
986
00:51:37,741 --> 00:51:39,658
Uh, one area
that is very import--
987
00:51:39,659 --> 00:51:42,244
Sorry I'm late.
988
00:51:42,245 --> 00:51:44,163
Diane, you know Judith?
989
00:51:44,164 --> 00:51:45,414
Of course.
990
00:51:45,415 --> 00:51:47,333
Judith is our choir director.
991
00:51:47,334 --> 00:51:48,584
Let's get this
party started.
992
00:51:48,585 --> 00:51:49,918
Okay. Hey, neighbor.
993
00:51:49,919 --> 00:51:51,629
And seeing that Henry
was a beloved member
994
00:51:51,630 --> 00:51:53,255
of our choir,
995
00:51:53,256 --> 00:51:56,008
I know that music selection
needs to be special.
996
00:51:56,009 --> 00:51:58,594
Yes, a-actually, that--
that's what I was...
997
00:51:58,595 --> 00:52:00,929
- Henry was very specific.
- Even better.
998
00:52:00,930 --> 00:52:03,641
Yeah, he wants the Beach Boys'
"God Only Knows"
999
00:52:03,642 --> 00:52:05,601
as people arrive,
1000
00:52:05,602 --> 00:52:07,978
and "You're the First,
My Last, My Everything"
1001
00:52:07,979 --> 00:52:09,521
as they leave.
1002
00:52:09,522 --> 00:52:11,815
- That's, uh, Barry White. Yes.
- Yes.
1003
00:52:11,816 --> 00:52:13,942
Barry White.
Wonderful talent.
1004
00:52:13,943 --> 00:52:16,445
- Well...
- And I mention this
1005
00:52:16,446 --> 00:52:17,613
because of Henry.
1006
00:52:17,614 --> 00:52:19,531
Music was his passion.
1007
00:52:19,532 --> 00:52:21,867
Singing brought him
immense joy.
1008
00:52:21,868 --> 00:52:25,329
Typically, only traditional
hymns are used
1009
00:52:25,330 --> 00:52:27,623
- because-- No, listen--
- Seeing-- seeing as
how much Henry
1010
00:52:27,624 --> 00:52:29,208
was a part of this church,
1011
00:52:29,209 --> 00:52:31,126
and how much the church
meant to him,
1012
00:52:31,127 --> 00:52:32,670
to not have these songs
1013
00:52:32,671 --> 00:52:35,006
would just be
a huge disappointment.
1014
00:52:35,965 --> 00:52:37,217
Well, um...
1015
00:52:38,343 --> 00:52:41,845
These are lovely
and spirited choices, Diane.
1016
00:52:41,846 --> 00:52:43,973
And one has "God" in the title.
1017
00:52:44,808 --> 00:52:46,684
Yes, but, um,
1018
00:52:46,685 --> 00:52:49,688
may I suggest something
more appropriate?
1019
00:52:50,605 --> 00:52:54,317
I mean, that I know Henry
would love to hear us all sing.
1020
00:52:55,485 --> 00:52:58,654
I'm thinking, uh, "Guide Me,
O Thou Great Redeemer."
1021
00:52:58,655 --> 00:53:00,322
- Oh. Perfect.
- Oh, it's so good.
1022
00:53:00,323 --> 00:53:03,992
And "Tis So Sweet
to Trust in Jesus."
1023
00:53:03,993 --> 00:53:05,911
- Mm.
- It's a big hit.
1024
00:53:05,912 --> 00:53:07,539
- Really big hit.
- Yes.
1025
00:53:08,415 --> 00:53:10,542
And how do you know Henry
would love these hymns?
1026
00:53:11,543 --> 00:53:13,669
Because of the joy
I would see on his face
1027
00:53:13,670 --> 00:53:15,587
- when he was singing them.
- Oh.
1028
00:53:15,588 --> 00:53:17,172
Mm, thank you, Judith.
1029
00:53:17,173 --> 00:53:18,674
Of course, yes.
1030
00:53:18,675 --> 00:53:22,345
Thank you for that
big bowl of bullshit.
1031
00:53:23,888 --> 00:53:26,265
Traditional fucking hymns only!
1032
00:53:26,266 --> 00:53:27,433
What?
1033
00:53:27,434 --> 00:53:29,184
Those people
are unbelievable!
1034
00:53:29,185 --> 00:53:30,477
- Who?
- The church!
1035
00:53:30,478 --> 00:53:33,021
They shot down my songs
like I knew they would!
1036
00:53:33,022 --> 00:53:34,273
Okay, just give me a second.
1037
00:53:34,274 --> 00:53:36,860
Yes. Yes.
1038
00:53:37,944 --> 00:53:39,403
Why didn't you wake me up?
1039
00:53:39,404 --> 00:53:40,696
I could have gone with you.
1040
00:53:40,697 --> 00:53:43,282
Because I'm capable!
I wanted to be capable!
1041
00:53:43,283 --> 00:53:45,159
Well, maybe I could
talk to them.
1042
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,869
And do what,
something I couldn't?
1043
00:53:46,870 --> 00:53:48,704
No, I-- Did you
tell 'em about the list?
1044
00:53:48,705 --> 00:53:50,706
Of course I told them
about the list!
1045
00:53:50,707 --> 00:53:53,041
O-Okay, look, you're a little
emotional right now.
1046
00:53:53,042 --> 00:53:55,377
What if I go back there
and then--
1047
00:53:55,378 --> 00:53:56,879
and try to reason with them?
1048
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,380
Good luck with Judith Bibbs.
1049
00:53:58,381 --> 00:53:59,548
Who?
1050
00:53:59,549 --> 00:54:01,050
Do these look
like chihuahua to you?
1051
00:54:01,885 --> 00:54:04,553
Wait. What?
1052
00:54:09,267 --> 00:54:10,268
Diane!
1053
00:54:15,732 --> 00:54:16,733
Diane!
1054
00:54:18,651 --> 00:54:19,903
Diane!
1055
00:54:22,989 --> 00:54:24,239
What are you doing?
1056
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:25,657
What does it look
like I'm doing?
1057
00:54:25,658 --> 00:54:26,992
I'm ending hope.
1058
00:54:26,993 --> 00:54:29,286
- Are you insane?
- What? I'm giving her closure.
1059
00:54:29,287 --> 00:54:30,871
Well, you're gonna give her
a heart attack.
1060
00:54:30,872 --> 00:54:33,082
Well, she acted like she knew
Henry better than me.
1061
00:54:38,254 --> 00:54:40,839
- Oh, you find this funny?
- Yes! Yes, I do.
1062
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,759
I'm watching a woman
throw chicken bones into a yard,
1063
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:47,095
hoping that another woman thinks
it's pieces of her chihuahua.
1064
00:54:47,096 --> 00:54:50,183
A chihuahua that got
carried off by a hawk.
1065
00:54:51,100 --> 00:54:52,476
So, yeah.
1066
00:54:52,477 --> 00:54:54,019
Yeah, yeah,
I'm laughing at that.
1067
00:54:54,020 --> 00:54:58,273
Well, that's my--
That's my humor.
1068
00:55:02,779 --> 00:55:05,990
I just wanted it
to be what Henry wanted.
1069
00:55:08,993 --> 00:55:10,119
I know.
1070
00:55:12,789 --> 00:55:14,374
We need to pick up
these bones.
1071
00:55:15,792 --> 00:55:17,501
Okay, let's see.
1072
00:55:17,502 --> 00:55:19,044
That's three over here.
1073
00:55:19,045 --> 00:55:20,254
- There's some more.
- Oh.
1074
00:55:20,255 --> 00:55:21,630
I think that is one.
1075
00:55:21,631 --> 00:55:22,881
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.
1076
00:55:22,882 --> 00:55:23,925
Hey!
1077
00:55:24,676 --> 00:55:26,385
What's going on?
1078
00:55:26,386 --> 00:55:27,803
Nothing, everything's fine.
1079
00:55:27,804 --> 00:55:29,805
Um, we were--
1080
00:55:29,806 --> 00:55:31,890
We were just, um--
I did a...
1081
00:55:31,891 --> 00:55:34,226
Where are you going?
1082
00:55:34,227 --> 00:55:36,311
- Um...
- I didn't hear her.
1083
00:55:36,312 --> 00:55:39,065
I-- No, I-- I thought I left
my shirt out here.
1084
00:55:39,899 --> 00:55:42,651
But, uh, nope.
1085
00:55:42,652 --> 00:55:44,195
See you, Judy.
1086
00:55:45,154 --> 00:55:46,488
It's Judith.
1087
00:55:49,033 --> 00:55:51,159
Judith so thinks
we're sleeping together.
1088
00:55:52,829 --> 00:55:54,329
If God is kind.
1089
00:56:00,545 --> 00:56:02,505
You can see
so many stars here.
1090
00:56:03,506 --> 00:56:04,507
Yeah.
1091
00:56:05,758 --> 00:56:07,260
This part, I don't hate.
1092
00:56:12,682 --> 00:56:13,850
Do you think you'll stay?
1093
00:56:15,184 --> 00:56:17,020
No. There's nothing here.
1094
00:56:24,444 --> 00:56:27,362
Well, as much as I love
a liquid dinner...
1095
00:56:27,363 --> 00:56:29,698
- Oh, sure.
- Will you take care of the fire?
1096
00:56:29,699 --> 00:56:30,700
Yes.
1097
00:56:34,454 --> 00:56:35,872
Hmm.
1098
00:57:13,910 --> 00:57:17,996
Would it be crazy if we opened
another bottle of wine?
1099
00:57:17,997 --> 00:57:20,917
- Or would that--
- My son wants to know
how I took the news.
1100
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:23,753
"How'd my mom take the news?"
1101
00:57:25,296 --> 00:57:27,090
I assume he's not coming.
1102
00:57:29,425 --> 00:57:30,426
I was gonna tell you.
1103
00:57:31,511 --> 00:57:33,179
Because it's still not safe?
1104
00:57:34,013 --> 00:57:35,264
Yes, unfortunately.
1105
00:57:38,101 --> 00:57:40,185
- Actually, there's more.
- Okay, well--
1106
00:57:40,186 --> 00:57:41,645
Ah.
1107
00:57:41,646 --> 00:57:44,356
"How'd my mom take the news?
I imagine she's pissed.
1108
00:57:44,357 --> 00:57:45,525
"But I thought about...
1109
00:57:46,776 --> 00:57:49,486
"what you said,
and you're right.
1110
00:57:49,487 --> 00:57:51,863
It's not my responsibility."
1111
00:57:54,617 --> 00:57:56,618
- I can explain.
- Open your phone.
1112
00:57:56,619 --> 00:57:59,121
- I-- Diane, I can't.
- Fuck your cone of silence.
1113
00:57:59,122 --> 00:58:02,040
"Not my responsibility"?
That sounds awfully familiar.
1114
00:58:02,041 --> 00:58:03,166
That's not exactly what I said.
1115
00:58:03,167 --> 00:58:04,501
Well, then let's see
what you said.
1116
00:58:04,502 --> 00:58:05,836
Diane, I can explain.
1117
00:58:05,837 --> 00:58:07,629
Nothing you can explain
is to be trusted.
1118
00:58:07,630 --> 00:58:10,048
This, I'll trust.
Open your phone.
1119
00:58:10,049 --> 00:58:12,134
It's not that easy, Diane, I...
1120
00:58:12,135 --> 00:58:14,177
Great. It is that easy.
1121
00:58:14,178 --> 00:58:15,179
Ah!
1122
00:58:19,392 --> 00:58:21,018
Hmm.
1123
00:58:21,019 --> 00:58:22,353
Quite an exchange.
1124
00:58:23,521 --> 00:58:24,522
Mm-hmm.
1125
00:58:25,314 --> 00:58:26,815
Hm!
1126
00:58:26,816 --> 00:58:27,983
Wow.
1127
00:58:27,984 --> 00:58:30,027
Apparently, they did
get the interview.
1128
00:58:30,028 --> 00:58:32,320
"It was a bit harrowing,
1129
00:58:32,321 --> 00:58:34,906
"but we made it
in and out safely.
1130
00:58:34,907 --> 00:58:36,325
We're back at the hotel."
1131
00:58:37,410 --> 00:58:39,162
I guess you just misspoke.
1132
00:58:40,496 --> 00:58:41,997
- It did become safe.
- Mm-hmm?
1133
00:58:41,998 --> 00:58:43,915
- But then it--
- No, no, no, no, no.
No spoilers.
1134
00:58:49,922 --> 00:58:52,592
Did Tyler actually
ponder coming?
1135
00:58:55,762 --> 00:58:58,221
He asked me what I thought
he should do.
1136
00:58:58,222 --> 00:58:59,348
"He should do."
1137
00:59:00,266 --> 00:59:04,020
"Your responsibility is to you,
Tyler, not anyone else."
1138
00:59:05,354 --> 00:59:07,857
Apparently, that's exactly
what you said. Mm-hmm.
1139
00:59:09,275 --> 00:59:12,445
"I'll te--" Oh.
"I'll tell her it wasn't safe.
1140
00:59:13,362 --> 00:59:16,364
"She already knows
that's a strong possibility.
1141
00:59:16,365 --> 00:59:19,701
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."
1142
00:59:19,702 --> 00:59:22,871
You didn't just quiet his mind,
you made up his mind!
1143
00:59:22,872 --> 00:59:24,915
- I didn't make up--
- "I'm grateful for you,
1144
00:59:24,916 --> 00:59:27,084
but I'm bummed
I won't get to see you."
1145
00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:28,585
Aw!
1146
00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:30,462
"Miss you, love you, Jamie."
1147
00:59:30,463 --> 00:59:32,631
"Miss you, love you,
Tyler."
1148
00:59:32,632 --> 00:59:34,300
What a great read!
1149
00:59:42,475 --> 00:59:43,935
- I'm sorry, Diane--
- No!
1150
00:59:47,188 --> 00:59:48,730
I'll, uh, pack my things.
1151
00:59:48,731 --> 00:59:49,731
Why?
1152
00:59:50,900 --> 00:59:52,901
You think your job is done?
1153
00:59:52,902 --> 00:59:56,238
Well, I think,
given the circumstances...
1154
00:59:56,239 --> 00:59:58,156
The circumstances?
1155
00:59:58,157 --> 00:59:59,658
The circumstances!
1156
00:59:59,659 --> 01:00:01,952
The circumstances
haven't changed!
1157
01:00:01,953 --> 01:00:04,496
Just more disappointment.
1158
01:00:04,497 --> 01:00:07,332
That, I...
That, I can manage!
1159
01:00:07,333 --> 01:00:09,084
Plus, like you said,
1160
01:00:09,085 --> 01:00:11,586
"We always knew
this was a strong possibility.
1161
01:00:11,587 --> 01:00:13,755
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."
1162
01:00:13,756 --> 01:00:15,257
Your words! So, yeah,
1163
01:00:15,258 --> 01:00:17,176
you can keep
handling things!
1164
01:01:08,811 --> 01:01:11,062
All of that's not gonna
fit in that fridge.
1165
01:01:11,063 --> 01:01:13,064
You're gonna need to transfer
everything out of there
1166
01:01:13,065 --> 01:01:14,567
to the one in the garage.
1167
01:01:26,078 --> 01:01:27,495
I was thinking it might be nice
1168
01:01:27,496 --> 01:01:29,748
to display more of Henry's art
at the reception.
1169
01:01:29,749 --> 01:01:32,042
- That's a great idea.
- We rent a storage unit.
1170
01:01:32,043 --> 01:01:33,668
I wrote down the address.
1171
01:01:33,669 --> 01:01:35,922
Okay, would you, um,
mind putting it on the...
1172
01:01:42,762 --> 01:01:44,179
Got it.
1173
01:03:26,449 --> 01:03:28,450
Diane?
1174
01:03:28,451 --> 01:03:29,535
I made dinner.
1175
01:04:01,692 --> 01:04:03,069
The bartenders confirmed.
1176
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,697
And they can help with, um,
with cleanup, too.
1177
01:04:07,698 --> 01:04:08,699
Good.
1178
01:04:12,661 --> 01:04:14,412
So, what time did you
want to leave for the--
1179
01:04:14,413 --> 01:04:16,998
I got a text from Tyler
a while ago.
1180
01:04:16,999 --> 01:04:18,000
Mm.
1181
01:04:19,502 --> 01:04:21,753
- Okay.
- He said he was thinking of me
1182
01:04:21,754 --> 01:04:24,381
and apologized
that he couldn't be here.
1183
01:04:24,382 --> 01:04:27,175
But he's sending thoughts
and prayers for tomorrow.
1184
01:04:27,176 --> 01:04:29,720
He also said he would check in
when he got back.
1185
01:04:30,763 --> 01:04:32,806
- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great
1186
01:04:32,807 --> 01:04:35,518
if you just ignore the fact
that it's all a lie.
1187
01:04:36,394 --> 01:04:38,686
Oh, and he sent
one last sentence.
1188
01:04:38,687 --> 01:04:41,524
His usual.
"Miss you and love you, Mom."
1189
01:04:43,526 --> 01:04:46,694
You get that one, too.
I remember reading that.
1190
01:04:46,695 --> 01:04:49,739
At first, I thought it peculiar
for a boss and an employee--
1191
01:04:49,740 --> 01:04:52,409
- Who became friends.
- Well, decided on friends, yes,
1192
01:04:52,410 --> 01:04:54,619
but that's why I said at first,
I found it peculiar.
1193
01:04:54,620 --> 01:04:56,371
And then I thought, well,
1194
01:04:56,372 --> 01:04:57,915
you do have
this history together.
1195
01:04:58,916 --> 01:05:01,960
And this "you loving him,
him conflicted" journey.
1196
01:05:01,961 --> 01:05:04,629
So, yes, it's not strange
that along the way
1197
01:05:04,630 --> 01:05:06,756
you would start saying
that to each other.
1198
01:05:06,757 --> 01:05:09,092
It's how we end our texts.
I think it's nice.
1199
01:05:09,093 --> 01:05:11,387
Of course, it's sweet.
And it works.
1200
01:05:13,055 --> 01:05:15,265
I know Tyler won't check in
when he gets back.
1201
01:05:15,266 --> 01:05:18,059
Eventually, yes,
but I imagine it'll be a month
1202
01:05:18,060 --> 01:05:19,894
before I hear from him.
1203
01:05:19,895 --> 01:05:21,938
That's what our relationship
has become.
1204
01:05:21,939 --> 01:05:25,567
Just large chasms of time pass
with no communication,
1205
01:05:25,568 --> 01:05:28,404
and then I'll get the
arbitrary text, "Checking in."
1206
01:05:29,405 --> 01:05:31,239
Quite literally,
that's how it starts.
1207
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:33,074
"Checking in."
1208
01:05:33,075 --> 01:05:34,451
And of course,
I respond immediately,
1209
01:05:34,452 --> 01:05:35,743
like a mother should,
1210
01:05:35,744 --> 01:05:37,745
and we check in
with one another.
1211
01:05:37,746 --> 01:05:40,291
And at the end of it,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."
1212
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:43,293
And like I said, it works.
1213
01:05:43,294 --> 01:05:45,211
It's how he keeps me
on the hook.
1214
01:05:45,212 --> 01:05:48,423
It's just enough
to make me feel like
he still needs me.
1215
01:05:48,424 --> 01:05:50,925
Just enough to keep me
from giving up completely
1216
01:05:50,926 --> 01:05:52,927
and letting go for good.
1217
01:05:52,928 --> 01:05:54,345
And I imagine for Tyler,
1218
01:05:54,346 --> 01:05:56,764
just enough
to ease his own guilt,
1219
01:05:56,765 --> 01:05:59,018
the guilt he feels
for hurting me.
1220
01:06:01,770 --> 01:06:03,022
For hurting us?
1221
01:06:04,190 --> 01:06:05,483
I know it to be genuine.
1222
01:06:06,358 --> 01:06:07,984
I didn't say
it wasn't genuine.
1223
01:06:07,985 --> 01:06:10,278
I just think it's more
complicated than that.
1224
01:06:10,279 --> 01:06:12,155
Do you not find it
more complicated
1225
01:06:12,156 --> 01:06:14,115
when you read his
"Miss you, love you," in a text?
1226
01:06:14,116 --> 01:06:15,492
And when you have
to type it back,
1227
01:06:15,493 --> 01:06:17,285
it doesn't feel
confusing to you,
1228
01:06:17,286 --> 01:06:19,454
after everything that's happened
between the two of you?
1229
01:06:19,455 --> 01:06:20,663
No.
1230
01:06:20,664 --> 01:06:22,332
Even after you shared
your feelings
1231
01:06:22,333 --> 01:06:23,833
and he wasn't there yet?
1232
01:06:23,834 --> 01:06:26,127
Even after he was
seemingly there
1233
01:06:26,128 --> 01:06:27,671
and then took it all back?
1234
01:06:29,173 --> 01:06:30,340
No.
1235
01:06:30,341 --> 01:06:31,799
Well, I guess--
1236
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:33,968
I guess I'm just speaking
for myself here.
1237
01:06:33,969 --> 01:06:37,305
I just find it hard to imagine
how genuine it can be
1238
01:06:37,306 --> 01:06:39,140
when my son refuses to come,
1239
01:06:39,141 --> 01:06:41,851
and yet texts,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."
1240
01:06:41,852 --> 01:06:43,311
Now, of course,
he's under the assumption
1241
01:06:43,312 --> 01:06:45,396
that the lie
didn't get screwed up.
1242
01:06:45,397 --> 01:06:47,815
As far as Tyler is concerned,
1243
01:06:47,816 --> 01:06:50,527
he thinks I believe he's been
prohibited from coming
1244
01:06:50,528 --> 01:06:52,862
due to circumstances.
1245
01:06:52,863 --> 01:06:55,532
So, for Tyler,
he's comforted by the fact
1246
01:06:55,533 --> 01:06:57,825
that his mom should have
no doubt that he misses her
1247
01:06:57,826 --> 01:07:01,330
and loves her on the day before
she buries her second husband.
1248
01:07:01,997 --> 01:07:04,082
But then, of course,
you made up his mind for him.
1249
01:07:04,083 --> 01:07:06,543
So, yeah, who the fuck knows
what "Miss you, love you,"
means anymore?
1250
01:07:06,544 --> 01:07:08,920
- I-- I didn't make up his mind.
- No, you gave him an out.
1251
01:07:08,921 --> 01:07:11,381
No, he asked my opinion.
He didn't have to take it.
1252
01:07:11,382 --> 01:07:13,759
And why was your opinion
for him not to come?
1253
01:07:14,593 --> 01:07:16,219
I didn't tell him not to come.
1254
01:07:16,220 --> 01:07:18,680
Yes, you told him that
it wasn't his responsibility--
1255
01:07:18,681 --> 01:07:21,182
No. No, I said
he had a responsibility
1256
01:07:21,183 --> 01:07:23,059
- to himself.
- And I told you
1257
01:07:23,060 --> 01:07:25,103
- he had a responsibility...
- Yes, that he had
a responsibility to you.
1258
01:07:25,104 --> 01:07:26,896
- ...to me.
- Yes, yeah, but okay.
1259
01:07:26,897 --> 01:07:28,648
Diane, are we really
gonna do this?
1260
01:07:28,649 --> 01:07:31,568
Are we really gonna break down
the subtext of a text?
1261
01:07:31,569 --> 01:07:34,362
Yes, because now
I'm ready for my explanation.
1262
01:07:34,363 --> 01:07:36,531
- You're not gonna like it.
- Yeah, I hate it so far.
1263
01:07:36,532 --> 01:07:39,450
I did what I thought was right,
knowing what I know.
1264
01:07:39,451 --> 01:07:41,411
- Knowing what?
- How Tyler feels
1265
01:07:41,412 --> 01:07:43,538
about everything that happened
between the two of you.
1266
01:07:43,539 --> 01:07:44,747
Which is what?
1267
01:07:46,417 --> 01:07:47,834
Oh, but of course.
1268
01:07:47,835 --> 01:07:50,378
Now, we're back to your
airtight cone of silence.
1269
01:07:50,379 --> 01:07:52,213
Fine, I'll lift it from my side.
1270
01:07:52,214 --> 01:07:54,882
I cheated on Tyler's dad
with Henry.
1271
01:07:54,883 --> 01:07:57,010
- I assume that you know?
- Yes.
1272
01:07:57,011 --> 01:07:59,304
And did he also share with you
that his dad and I
1273
01:07:59,305 --> 01:08:01,431
had fallen out of love
long before that,
1274
01:08:01,432 --> 01:08:03,391
and that his dad
had cheated as well?
1275
01:08:03,392 --> 01:08:05,727
- Y-Yes, but--
- But his affair was fleeting
1276
01:08:05,728 --> 01:08:07,396
and I fell in love
with mine, yes?
1277
01:08:08,772 --> 01:08:10,148
- Yes.
- Yes.
1278
01:08:10,149 --> 01:08:11,400
That's my high crime.
1279
01:08:12,151 --> 01:08:14,986
Well, I think for Tyler,
knowing how hurt his dad was,
1280
01:08:14,987 --> 01:08:18,072
and then with Tyler's dad
passing away,
1281
01:08:18,073 --> 01:08:19,907
I think that there is
an allegiance to his father
1282
01:08:19,908 --> 01:08:21,784
that makes it
difficult for Tyler to--
1283
01:08:21,785 --> 01:08:24,787
- Look, Dia-- your son
struggles with how--
- My son struggles.
1284
01:08:24,788 --> 01:08:27,332
Oh, my God. Lost my appetite.
1285
01:08:27,333 --> 01:08:30,001
- Diane, just let me--
- No, no!
1286
01:08:30,002 --> 01:08:32,295
No, Tyler did have
an allegiance to his dad,
1287
01:08:32,296 --> 01:08:34,964
and still does to this day, apparently.
1288
01:08:38,260 --> 01:08:42,263
After his father and I divorced,
despite both cheating,
1289
01:08:42,264 --> 01:08:44,265
despite our anger
and differences,
1290
01:08:44,266 --> 01:08:46,100
the one thing we agreed upon
1291
01:08:46,101 --> 01:08:48,519
was that our priority
was to be Tyler.
1292
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:50,480
He should know
nothing from us but love,
1293
01:08:50,481 --> 01:08:52,357
and that included
to each other.
1294
01:08:54,443 --> 01:08:55,610
I hate that I'm
telling you this!
1295
01:08:55,611 --> 01:08:58,029
- You don't have to tell me.
- Yes, I do!
1296
01:09:04,203 --> 01:09:07,246
Around the time Henry
and I moved in together,
1297
01:09:07,247 --> 01:09:09,832
when things were clearly
not fleeting for us,
1298
01:09:09,833 --> 01:09:12,378
Tyler's dad began
to struggle with that.
1299
01:09:13,337 --> 01:09:16,756
One weekend, when Tyler
was at his dad's,
1300
01:09:16,757 --> 01:09:18,967
you want to know what he put
in our son's head?
1301
01:09:20,511 --> 01:09:24,138
"You're on my side.
You're on your dad's side."
1302
01:09:24,139 --> 01:09:26,724
You know what that does
to a nine-year-old
to draw that line?
1303
01:09:26,725 --> 01:09:28,393
To suggest that love
is conditional?
1304
01:09:28,394 --> 01:09:30,311
Because I can tell you
from experience,
1305
01:09:30,312 --> 01:09:32,397
you do not come back from that.
1306
01:09:32,398 --> 01:09:34,315
The damage is done.
1307
01:09:34,316 --> 01:09:36,984
And I only came to know of what
his dad said a few years later
1308
01:09:36,985 --> 01:09:39,362
when Tyler was acting out
and I sent him to his room.
1309
01:09:39,363 --> 01:09:41,406
He used his dad's words
against me.
1310
01:09:41,407 --> 01:09:42,950
"I'm on dad's side."
1311
01:09:43,951 --> 01:09:46,577
But truthfully, I was suspicious
that something had been said
1312
01:09:46,578 --> 01:09:49,372
from the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,
1313
01:09:49,373 --> 01:09:53,167
because the son who left
was not the son who came back.
1314
01:09:53,168 --> 01:09:56,713
Not the way he looked at me,
the way he hugged me.
1315
01:09:56,714 --> 01:09:58,881
He would bristle at my touch.
1316
01:09:58,882 --> 01:10:02,385
A-And Henry, Henry was a pariah
from that day on.
1317
01:10:04,513 --> 01:10:06,222
I'm sorry, Diane.
I didn't know.
1318
01:10:06,223 --> 01:10:07,515
And you wouldn't have,
not from me.
1319
01:10:07,516 --> 01:10:10,393
I never told anyone,
until now.
1320
01:10:10,394 --> 01:10:13,104
Not even Henry.
Even after I came to know
1321
01:10:13,105 --> 01:10:15,022
what his dad had said,
I never confronted him.
1322
01:10:15,023 --> 01:10:19,402
Never uttered a negative thing
about him in retaliation.
1323
01:10:19,403 --> 01:10:23,364
Even as Tyler used those words
against me, I stayed calm.
1324
01:10:23,365 --> 01:10:26,534
All I said was,
"Well, I hope you know
1325
01:10:26,535 --> 01:10:28,370
that Henry and I
love you, too."
1326
01:10:30,372 --> 01:10:34,126
Even after Tyler refused to let
me go to his dad's funeral.
1327
01:10:35,377 --> 01:10:38,254
I mean,
this is a man I loved,
1328
01:10:38,255 --> 01:10:39,630
I still love!
1329
01:10:39,631 --> 01:10:41,799
Even then, I respected
my son's feelings,
1330
01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:46,221
and I sat out on that patio,
and I grieved his dad alone.
1331
01:10:47,264 --> 01:10:49,557
From the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,
1332
01:10:49,558 --> 01:10:51,559
I have shown him
nothing but love,
1333
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,269
because I knew he needed it.
1334
01:10:53,270 --> 01:10:56,230
I knew he wanted it,
and still does to this day.
1335
01:10:56,231 --> 01:10:59,066
It just-- it just comes
with a price.
1336
01:10:59,067 --> 01:11:01,652
But I have never, never stopped
being his mom.
1337
01:11:01,653 --> 01:11:03,946
I've-- I have stayed his mom.
1338
01:11:03,947 --> 01:11:05,782
And-- and against
my better judgment,
1339
01:11:05,783 --> 01:11:07,450
I have kept helping Tyler
1340
01:11:07,451 --> 01:11:09,745
through any doorway
he struggles with.
1341
01:11:11,246 --> 01:11:13,831
Now, as for you,
1342
01:11:13,832 --> 01:11:16,751
just so you're clear
going forward with your life,
1343
01:11:16,752 --> 01:11:19,630
just so you come
to truly understand...
1344
01:11:20,923 --> 01:11:23,801
that is a cone of silence.
1345
01:11:27,012 --> 01:11:30,640
Diane, I'm very sorry
for what you went through,
1346
01:11:30,641 --> 01:11:32,350
and I'm sorry for what
you're going through.
1347
01:11:32,351 --> 01:11:33,935
But again, I didn't know.
1348
01:11:33,936 --> 01:11:37,104
What about what we've come
to know, what we've shared here?
1349
01:11:37,105 --> 01:11:39,148
- Going on that alone,
why not tell Tyler--
- Diane, I--
1350
01:11:39,149 --> 01:11:40,608
You could have
texted him yourself,
1351
01:11:40,609 --> 01:11:42,527
but instead, you chose
to stay angry.
1352
01:11:42,528 --> 01:11:44,695
Yeah, and you chose
to be on his side.
1353
01:11:44,696 --> 01:11:48,115
Oh, my God.
I love that you refuse to listen
1354
01:11:48,116 --> 01:11:50,827
to anything that doesn't allow
you to stay the victim.
1355
01:11:50,828 --> 01:11:52,995
- I'm just trying to understand.
- What you need to do
1356
01:11:52,996 --> 01:11:55,623
is recognize that I have
been here for six days
1357
01:11:55,624 --> 01:11:58,459
helping you, enduring you,
taking dagger after dagger.
1358
01:11:58,460 --> 01:11:59,710
What about the daggers
I've taken?
1359
01:11:59,711 --> 01:12:00,962
Well, I'm not disputing that,
1360
01:12:00,963 --> 01:12:02,296
but I'm not the one
who threw them.
1361
01:12:02,297 --> 01:12:04,048
- Yes, you did!
- No, not the ones
1362
01:12:04,049 --> 01:12:06,300
that hurt you most.
I'm not your son, Diane.
1363
01:12:06,301 --> 01:12:07,718
No. You're worse.
1364
01:12:07,719 --> 01:12:09,637
- You're in love with him.
- Oh, my God.
1365
01:12:09,638 --> 01:12:11,640
- Diane, I told you--
- No. Nope.
1366
01:12:12,558 --> 01:12:14,642
- Fuck your story.
- Wow.
1367
01:12:14,643 --> 01:12:16,310
Wow, fuck my story.
1368
01:12:16,311 --> 01:12:18,813
You are so clearly
still in love with my son.
1369
01:12:18,814 --> 01:12:20,314
- I am not.
- Had I known that,
1370
01:12:20,315 --> 01:12:22,400
I would have relieved you
on day one.
1371
01:12:22,401 --> 01:12:23,526
Well, then, relieve me now.
1372
01:12:23,527 --> 01:12:24,819
- Please.
- And give you the satisfaction
1373
01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:26,529
of just walking away?
Hell, no!
1374
01:12:26,530 --> 01:12:28,322
Yeah, you wouldn't do that.
And you know what, Diane?
1375
01:12:28,323 --> 01:12:30,825
You wouldn't have because
you've enjoyed all of this.
1376
01:12:30,826 --> 01:12:33,035
- Goading me, tormenting me.
- I most certainly
have not.
1377
01:12:33,036 --> 01:12:35,204
Please, you get off
on your power.
1378
01:12:35,205 --> 01:12:37,331
I have a right to get off!
1379
01:12:37,332 --> 01:12:40,042
- And had I known how miserable
this was all gonna be...
- Shit.
1380
01:12:40,043 --> 01:12:42,337
...I never would have offered
to come here in the first place!
1381
01:12:44,715 --> 01:12:45,716
"Offered"?
1382
01:12:47,009 --> 01:12:49,010
- What do you mean, "offered"?
- Okay, wait.
1383
01:12:49,011 --> 01:12:51,679
You had to come,
you had no choice.
1384
01:12:51,680 --> 01:12:54,181
- Yes, but...
- This is your job.
1385
01:12:54,182 --> 01:12:57,184
You have to be here.
You said that many times.
1386
01:12:57,185 --> 01:13:00,187
- Just hold on!
- Adamantly! Did-- did my son
1387
01:13:00,188 --> 01:13:02,106
- even ask you to come?
- Hold on.
1388
01:13:02,107 --> 01:13:04,525
Did Tyler even ask you
1389
01:13:04,526 --> 01:13:06,027
- to come, ever?
- It's complicated!
1390
01:13:06,028 --> 01:13:07,029
Unbelievable.
1391
01:13:07,863 --> 01:13:10,197
Okay, okay.
Tyler called.
1392
01:13:10,198 --> 01:13:12,533
He was stuck overseas,
he was distraught,
1393
01:13:12,534 --> 01:13:14,035
- he didn't know
who else to call.
- Mm-hmm.
1394
01:13:14,036 --> 01:13:16,746
He apologized for calling,
admitted it was awkward.
1395
01:13:16,747 --> 01:13:19,040
- Why would it be awkward?
- Because it had been a while
1396
01:13:19,041 --> 01:13:20,708
- since we had spoken, but--
- Wait.
1397
01:13:20,709 --> 01:13:23,879
How long ago did Tyler
break your heart
and you walked away?
1398
01:13:26,965 --> 01:13:29,175
- About two weeks, but--
- Two weeks?!
1399
01:13:29,176 --> 01:13:31,218
- Yes, it was earlier than--
- There is no way
1400
01:13:31,219 --> 01:13:32,970
- you have moved on.
- Yes, I have.
1401
01:13:32,971 --> 01:13:35,473
In fact, this road trip,
this longer trip,
1402
01:13:35,474 --> 01:13:38,643
that's me moving to New York.
I'm not even going back to LA.
1403
01:13:38,644 --> 01:13:41,437
Hold on, hold on.
So, the day you walked away
1404
01:13:41,438 --> 01:13:43,731
to give yourself time,
you actually quit?
1405
01:13:43,732 --> 01:13:45,566
- Yes.
- Then, why not own that
1406
01:13:45,567 --> 01:13:47,068
from the minute
you walked in my door?
1407
01:13:47,069 --> 01:13:48,319
- Why lie to me?
- It was just--
1408
01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:50,279
"This is my job.
I have to be here."
1409
01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:52,823
- It was just easier.
- Yes, I imagine it was,
1410
01:13:52,824 --> 01:13:54,492
so much easier
to portray yourself
1411
01:13:54,493 --> 01:13:56,452
as this self-righteous victim
1412
01:13:56,453 --> 01:13:57,912
- who's had to endure--
- No, I decided
1413
01:13:57,913 --> 01:13:59,580
to put aside everything
1414
01:13:59,581 --> 01:14:01,624
and take the high road, Diane.
1415
01:14:01,625 --> 01:14:03,167
- Oh.
- So that Tyler could see,
1416
01:14:03,168 --> 01:14:05,252
despite all of the hurt
I endured,
1417
01:14:05,253 --> 01:14:07,296
I would still be there for him.
1418
01:14:07,297 --> 01:14:09,090
And that I could move on
with my life
1419
01:14:09,091 --> 01:14:11,635
knowing I was leaving Tyler
behind seeing that about me.
1420
01:14:16,348 --> 01:14:18,599
Yes. Yes.
1421
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:22,019
- Yes. That is why.
- What?
1422
01:14:22,020 --> 01:14:23,854
- You resent him.
- Oh, plea-- No.
1423
01:14:23,855 --> 01:14:25,773
You're not just in love
with my son.
1424
01:14:25,774 --> 01:14:27,233
You resent him.
1425
01:14:27,234 --> 01:14:28,943
- I am taking the high road.
- Which is where you go
1426
01:14:28,944 --> 01:14:31,112
when you want people
to feel like shit.
1427
01:14:31,113 --> 01:14:32,780
Don't tell me
about the high road.
1428
01:14:32,781 --> 01:14:34,949
I wrote the book
on taking the high road.
1429
01:14:34,950 --> 01:14:36,701
You want Tyler to feel guilty.
1430
01:14:36,702 --> 01:14:38,661
Fine. Yes, I do.
1431
01:14:38,662 --> 01:14:41,622
- But that's not why I came.
- It's exactly why you came.
1432
01:14:41,623 --> 01:14:43,541
You want Tyler to miss you.
1433
01:14:43,542 --> 01:14:45,126
You want Tyler to love you.
1434
01:14:45,127 --> 01:14:46,794
- You won't realize--
- I'm moving on with my life--
1435
01:14:46,795 --> 01:14:48,839
Do not lie anymore!
1436
01:14:49,673 --> 01:14:52,633
Especially to someone
who knows exactly what it means
1437
01:14:52,634 --> 01:14:55,136
to love and resent my son.
1438
01:14:55,137 --> 01:14:57,763
And when we love
and resent the same person,
1439
01:14:57,764 --> 01:14:59,850
that's when they control us
the most.
1440
01:15:00,726 --> 01:15:04,020
Jamie, you will always
be everything Tyler needs,
1441
01:15:04,021 --> 01:15:06,480
everything he desires
in a boyfriend.
1442
01:15:06,481 --> 01:15:08,482
But you will never be his type.
1443
01:15:08,483 --> 01:15:11,153
He will never want you
the way you want him to.
1444
01:15:15,532 --> 01:15:18,660
And he will never be the son
that you want him to be.
1445
01:15:20,871 --> 01:15:23,998
You might not call Tyler
a selfish, ungrateful dickhead
1446
01:15:23,999 --> 01:15:25,708
to his face,
but he can feel it.
1447
01:15:25,709 --> 01:15:28,169
He can see it in your face,
he can hear it in your voice.
1448
01:15:28,170 --> 01:15:30,171
He can read it in your texts.
1449
01:15:30,172 --> 01:15:32,256
But yet, you're floored
1450
01:15:32,257 --> 01:15:34,508
that he doesn't want to come
running back to your arms.
1451
01:15:34,509 --> 01:15:37,470
- I am his mother!
- Well, then fight like one!
1452
01:15:37,471 --> 01:15:39,013
Fight for him instead
of tearing me down,
1453
01:15:39,014 --> 01:15:40,222
which is easier, right?
1454
01:15:40,223 --> 01:15:41,932
It's easier to make the pain
about anything--
1455
01:15:41,933 --> 01:15:43,017
anyone but you.
1456
01:15:43,018 --> 01:15:45,020
- Get out!
- Happily, thank you!
1457
01:15:45,979 --> 01:15:49,982
But you know what, Diane?
You are where you are by choice.
1458
01:15:49,983 --> 01:15:53,027
And you made
that choice the second
that nine-year-old came home
1459
01:15:53,028 --> 01:15:55,196
and you chose not to fight.
1460
01:15:55,197 --> 01:15:57,031
And you had
every right to fight.
1461
01:15:57,032 --> 01:15:59,033
You had every right
to march up to his father
1462
01:15:59,034 --> 01:16:00,701
and say, "What the hell
were you thinking?"
1463
01:16:00,702 --> 01:16:03,412
But no.
Instead, you chose resentment.
1464
01:16:03,413 --> 01:16:06,457
And from what I can tell,
you always choose resentment.
1465
01:16:06,458 --> 01:16:09,210
You choose resentment
of-- of-- of New Mexico,
1466
01:16:09,211 --> 01:16:11,378
of-- of-- of Kathy's
shitty succulent,
1467
01:16:11,379 --> 01:16:13,380
of-- of-- of Judith's dead dog,
1468
01:16:13,381 --> 01:16:15,549
of the goddamn owl,
and me!
1469
01:16:15,550 --> 01:16:17,426
- As I should!
- Oh, oh, yes.
1470
01:16:17,427 --> 01:16:20,513
No, I am your holy grail
of resentment.
1471
01:16:20,514 --> 01:16:23,432
And what an easy place
to put all of your anger
and resentment,
1472
01:16:23,433 --> 01:16:25,476
the week you have to bury
your second husband,
1473
01:16:25,477 --> 01:16:27,144
instead of facing the ugly truth
1474
01:16:27,145 --> 01:16:28,896
that you're angry
and resentful of Henry
1475
01:16:28,897 --> 01:16:31,565
- for having to bury him.
- How dare you!
1476
01:16:31,566 --> 01:16:33,360
Don't lie to me, Diane.
1477
01:16:34,069 --> 01:16:36,237
Especially to somebody
who knows what it feels like
1478
01:16:36,238 --> 01:16:39,156
to spend years of your life
watching the only people
1479
01:16:39,157 --> 01:16:40,992
you have left
in the world leave.
1480
01:16:43,453 --> 01:16:46,998
And we do, we resent them
because we need them here.
1481
01:16:49,000 --> 01:16:51,419
Because we don't know
who we are without them.
1482
01:16:52,671 --> 01:16:55,923
You said it yourself, Diane.
1483
01:16:55,924 --> 01:16:57,800
You hate how you were
with Henry.
1484
01:16:57,801 --> 01:16:59,426
You hated him
for putting you there.
1485
01:16:59,427 --> 01:17:01,679
And yet this whole time,
you had somebody looking at you
1486
01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:03,055
with nothing but love,
begging you
1487
01:17:03,056 --> 01:17:04,808
to get out of a place
you refuse to leave.
1488
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:08,102
A place that you--
you choose to be consumed
1489
01:17:08,103 --> 01:17:10,271
by the love you're not getting
from a son who left
1490
01:17:10,272 --> 01:17:12,356
rather than grieving
the loss of a man
1491
01:17:12,357 --> 01:17:14,693
who knew everything
about you and stayed.
1492
01:17:51,354 --> 01:17:52,814
Here's the sun.
1493
01:17:59,821 --> 01:18:01,156
There's the fucking sky!
1494
01:18:03,325 --> 01:18:06,328
And there's the goddamn owl.
1495
01:18:09,539 --> 01:18:12,833
Bringing back the fucking cat!
1496
01:18:20,425 --> 01:18:21,885
I didn't mean to--
1497
01:18:22,761 --> 01:18:23,845
Let's be done.
1498
01:19:13,770 --> 01:19:15,980
Hey, lady.
Just got out of church.
1499
01:19:15,981 --> 01:19:18,065
What are you doing?
1500
01:19:18,066 --> 01:19:20,609
I know that annoys you
1501
01:19:20,610 --> 01:19:22,779
when I ask your
voicemail questions.
1502
01:19:23,989 --> 01:19:25,739
I, uh, I just wanted
to let you know
1503
01:19:25,740 --> 01:19:27,616
I'm gonna grab lunch
with a couple of friends,
1504
01:19:27,617 --> 01:19:29,243
and I'll walk home.
1505
01:19:29,244 --> 01:19:31,787
Oh, uh, in case I forget,
1506
01:19:31,788 --> 01:19:33,414
a newer member
of the congregation
1507
01:19:33,415 --> 01:19:35,332
asked me today
how we met.
1508
01:19:35,333 --> 01:19:37,084
And I said,
"Well, we didn't meet.
1509
01:19:37,085 --> 01:19:38,503
Diane discovered me."
1510
01:19:39,504 --> 01:19:41,089
Now, how sweet
of me was that?
1511
01:19:42,507 --> 01:19:44,259
Alright, I love you.
I'll see you soon.
1512
01:19:46,261 --> 01:19:48,512
Oh, uh, uh, one more thing.
1513
01:19:48,513 --> 01:19:50,932
What are you doing?
1514
01:21:21,022 --> 01:21:27,069
♪ Just to take Him
at his word ♪
1515
01:21:27,070 --> 01:21:33,575
♪ Just to rest
upon His promise ♪
1516
01:21:33,576 --> 01:21:40,250
♪ Just to know
thus saith the Lord ♪
1517
01:21:43,086 --> 01:21:47,882
♪ Jesus, Jesus,
how I trust Him ♪
1518
01:21:49,217 --> 01:21:54,347
♪ How I've proved Him
o'er and o'er ♪
1519
01:21:55,098 --> 01:22:00,811
♪ Jesus, Jesus,
precious Jesus ♪
1520
01:22:00,812 --> 01:22:05,649
♪ Oh, the grace
to trust Him ♪
1521
01:22:05,650 --> 01:22:10,154
♪ More ♪
1522
01:22:10,155 --> 01:22:11,739
Good Lord.
1523
01:22:30,341 --> 01:22:32,593
I wasn't going to get up here.
1524
01:22:32,594 --> 01:22:34,928
Henry would not expect it.
1525
01:22:34,929 --> 01:22:37,097
In fact, he's--
1526
01:22:37,098 --> 01:22:39,100
He's probably rolling
his eyes right now.
1527
01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:42,604
But he was clear about...
1528
01:22:44,147 --> 01:22:47,775
what he wanted... from me.
1529
01:22:52,363 --> 01:22:54,449
And I need to finish that.
1530
01:23:01,289 --> 01:23:03,208
"The first, my last...
1531
01:23:04,792 --> 01:23:05,960
"my everything.
1532
01:23:07,879 --> 01:23:09,964
"And the answer
to all my dreams.
1533
01:23:12,842 --> 01:23:16,304
"You are my sun,
my moon...
1534
01:23:17,305 --> 01:23:18,723
my guiding star."
1535
01:23:22,977 --> 01:23:23,978
Um...
1536
01:23:24,979 --> 01:23:27,190
♪ My... my... ♪
1537
01:23:30,693 --> 01:23:31,694
♪ My ♪
1538
01:23:32,654 --> 01:23:35,990
♪ My, my kind of wonderful ♪
1539
01:23:37,325 --> 01:23:39,869
♪ That's what you are ♪
1540
01:23:42,664 --> 01:23:46,501
♪ I know there's only ♪
1541
01:23:47,377 --> 01:23:49,003
♪ One like you ♪
1542
01:23:52,507 --> 01:23:53,841
♪ There's no way ♪
1543
01:23:55,009 --> 01:23:57,512
♪ They could have made two ♪
1544
01:24:05,770 --> 01:24:09,566
"Yeah, you're all
I'm living for."
1545
01:24:12,694 --> 01:24:16,614
♪ Your love
I'll keep for evermore ♪
1546
01:24:18,449 --> 01:24:21,368
- ♪ You're the first ♪
- ♪ You're the first ♪
1547
01:24:21,369 --> 01:24:22,954
- ♪ You're the last ♪
- ♪ You're the last ♪
1548
01:24:24,372 --> 01:24:26,457
♪ My everything ♪
1549
01:24:28,876 --> 01:24:30,711
- You should join the choir.
- I can't, it's not really--
1550
01:24:30,712 --> 01:24:32,254
- Oh.
- That was beautiful.
1551
01:24:32,255 --> 01:24:34,256
- I'll see you back at the house.
You have the address?
- Yeah.
1552
01:24:34,257 --> 01:24:35,924
Okay, great.
1553
01:24:35,925 --> 01:24:37,051
Jamie.
1554
01:24:38,803 --> 01:24:41,638
Can you grab Henry for me
and the floral arrangements?
1555
01:24:41,639 --> 01:24:43,974
They'll balk at that.
Traditionally, you're supposed
to donate them
1556
01:24:43,975 --> 01:24:47,061
for Sunday services,
but just tell them God owes me.
1557
01:24:49,439 --> 01:24:51,440
Anyways, I'm bringing
my famous deviled eggs.
1558
01:24:51,441 --> 01:24:52,816
Oh, please don't.
1559
01:24:52,817 --> 01:24:54,109
It's right over here.
1560
01:25:06,581 --> 01:25:08,915
Have you ever seen
so much joy on a canvas?
1561
01:25:08,916 --> 01:25:11,919
- It's something.
- Mm.
1562
01:25:13,087 --> 01:25:16,089
- Oh, what's happening here?
- Oh, that's an owl
1563
01:25:16,090 --> 01:25:18,300
bringing back our cat,
Barnaby, so...
1564
01:25:18,301 --> 01:25:21,262
- Oh. My.
- So, like I said, just joy.
1565
01:25:23,097 --> 01:25:25,432
- It's beautiful.
- Aw.
1566
01:25:25,433 --> 01:25:28,352
It warms my heart
to hear you say that.
1567
01:25:28,353 --> 01:25:30,270
Because Henry
wanted you to have it.
1568
01:25:30,271 --> 01:25:31,772
- No.
- Yes.
1569
01:25:31,773 --> 01:25:33,607
- N-No.
- His time in the choir
1570
01:25:33,608 --> 01:25:35,193
was so precious to him.
1571
01:25:36,110 --> 01:25:38,111
So, maybe for the choir room.
1572
01:25:38,112 --> 01:25:39,821
Ohh.
1573
01:25:39,822 --> 01:25:41,198
- Yeah?
- Hmm.
1574
01:25:41,199 --> 01:25:43,201
It'll be like he's still there
singing with you.
1575
01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:50,041
Hmm.
1576
01:25:51,834 --> 01:25:52,960
God bless.
1577
01:25:57,131 --> 01:25:58,632
- Travel well.
- Thanks, Diane.
1578
01:25:58,633 --> 01:26:00,301
- Mm-hmm, bye.
- We're here if you
need anything.
1579
01:26:11,312 --> 01:26:13,647
For some reason,
people thought they should bring
1580
01:26:13,648 --> 01:26:15,065
more casseroles.
1581
01:26:15,066 --> 01:26:16,359
I saw that.
1582
01:26:17,652 --> 01:26:20,696
Uh, I washed these
and labeled whose whose.
1583
01:26:20,697 --> 01:26:23,573
And, um, I made a list
of what everybody brought,
1584
01:26:23,574 --> 01:26:25,493
in case you wanna send
thank you notes.
1585
01:26:26,744 --> 01:26:28,870
Yeah, that doesn't have
to be a thing.
1586
01:26:31,916 --> 01:26:34,793
Well, I should probably
get on the road,
1587
01:26:34,794 --> 01:26:36,337
give you back your space.
1588
01:26:37,839 --> 01:26:39,340
Not much light left, so...
1589
01:26:40,341 --> 01:26:42,676
um, if you get tired, pull over.
1590
01:26:42,677 --> 01:26:43,678
Yes.
1591
01:26:45,555 --> 01:26:46,723
Uh, mm.
1592
01:26:48,349 --> 01:26:51,102
Maybe I'll see you
back in New York?
1593
01:26:52,854 --> 01:26:54,063
Maybe.
1594
01:26:59,277 --> 01:27:00,528
Goodbye, Jamie.
1595
01:27:03,573 --> 01:27:04,907
Goodbye, Diane.
1596
01:27:11,038 --> 01:27:12,039
Hm.
1597
01:27:50,453 --> 01:27:52,121
I know what's
on the other side.
1598
01:27:53,664 --> 01:27:55,916
For me, I know
what's on the other side.
1599
01:27:55,917 --> 01:27:58,628
And I know it's better.
1600
01:28:00,129 --> 01:28:01,297
Or it will be better.
1601
01:28:04,008 --> 01:28:05,593
But I stay over here...
1602
01:28:06,969 --> 01:28:08,429
because I wanna fix it.
1603
01:28:10,765 --> 01:28:13,100
'Cause I need to fi--
I need to fix everything.
1604
01:28:15,812 --> 01:28:19,357
Over here, I--
I came out in my 20s.
1605
01:28:21,025 --> 01:28:23,276
And I had my own
revolving door,
1606
01:28:23,277 --> 01:28:25,863
and I fell in love
and out of love...
1607
01:28:26,864 --> 01:28:27,865
many times.
1608
01:28:30,117 --> 01:28:31,284
Over here, my parents knew,
1609
01:28:31,285 --> 01:28:33,996
and they not only knew,
but they...
1610
01:28:35,373 --> 01:28:36,624
loved me for it.
1611
01:28:39,669 --> 01:28:40,962
And over here, Tyler...
1612
01:28:43,881 --> 01:28:45,298
It's not that I think
that he's right.
1613
01:28:45,299 --> 01:28:48,469
It's not that
I think that he's the one.
1614
01:28:53,516 --> 01:28:55,809
Just over here,
I didn't waste so much time.
1615
01:28:59,063 --> 01:29:00,523
I not only found love...
1616
01:29:02,066 --> 01:29:06,153
not only knew what love was,
I knew what to do with it.
1617
01:29:10,366 --> 01:29:11,701
But to go over there...
1618
01:29:14,495 --> 01:29:15,872
to step through...
1619
01:29:20,543 --> 01:29:23,546
Diane, that's to know that
none of that ever happened.
1620
01:29:25,715 --> 01:29:27,592
It's just me over there.
1621
01:29:30,011 --> 01:29:31,511
I'm not saying that
for sympathy...
1622
01:29:31,512 --> 01:29:34,849
...and I'm not
saying that to excuse.
1623
01:29:36,017 --> 01:29:37,018
Uh...
1624
01:29:40,521 --> 01:29:42,565
I just don't know
where to put it.
1625
01:29:46,569 --> 01:29:49,030
Jamie, your parents knew.
1626
01:29:50,239 --> 01:29:51,699
We always know.
1627
01:29:52,575 --> 01:29:54,535
And they knew who you were.
1628
01:29:55,536 --> 01:29:59,081
You were their son
who loved them to the end.
1629
01:30:29,070 --> 01:30:30,445
"Checking in."
1630
01:30:30,446 --> 01:30:33,740
Sooner than expected.
1631
01:30:33,741 --> 01:30:35,992
Well, his timing
has always been terrible.
1632
01:30:35,993 --> 01:30:37,119
Or perfect.
1633
01:30:40,623 --> 01:30:41,749
Let him wait.
1634
01:30:42,959 --> 01:30:44,251
Until I'm ready.
1635
01:30:51,258 --> 01:30:52,802
You need to move on,
Jamie.
1636
01:30:53,803 --> 01:30:56,096
It's time.
1637
01:30:56,097 --> 01:30:57,098
Yes.
1638
01:31:00,768 --> 01:31:01,769
Yes.
1639
01:31:06,941 --> 01:31:08,441
And take that succulent.
1640
01:31:08,442 --> 01:31:10,360
It deserves to be saved.
1641
01:31:31,716 --> 01:31:36,928
♪ Threads of our memories ♪
1642
01:31:36,929 --> 01:31:42,183
♪ Woven to tapestries ♪
1643
01:31:42,184 --> 01:31:47,313
♪ That flow
in the morning breeze ♪
1644
01:31:47,314 --> 01:31:52,736
♪ A sliver of light
shone through ♪
1645
01:31:52,737 --> 01:31:57,866
♪ The window that frames
our view ♪
1646
01:31:57,867 --> 01:32:03,204
♪ In my hands
aglow the hue ♪
1647
01:32:03,205 --> 01:32:10,170
♪ A bittersweet reverie ♪
1648
01:32:10,171 --> 01:32:16,509
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1649
01:32:16,510 --> 01:32:20,346
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1650
01:32:20,347 --> 01:32:27,187
♪ Forever be free ♪
1651
01:32:27,188 --> 01:32:32,192
♪ A great mystery ♪
1652
01:32:32,193 --> 01:32:36,363
♪ Of reality ♪
1653
01:32:44,413 --> 01:32:48,208
♪ The sun has sung ♪
1654
01:32:48,209 --> 01:32:53,880
♪ Its glorious glowing song ♪
1655
01:32:53,881 --> 01:32:58,968
♪ Over that horizon ♪
1656
01:32:58,969 --> 01:33:04,265
♪ Deep in my soul, I know ♪
1657
01:33:04,266 --> 01:33:09,771
♪ Wherever I go, you go ♪
1658
01:33:09,772 --> 01:33:16,319
♪ All of the roads
we roam lead home ♪
1659
01:33:16,320 --> 01:33:22,951
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1660
01:33:22,952 --> 01:33:26,621
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1661
01:33:26,622 --> 01:33:33,461
♪ Forever be free ♪
1662
01:33:33,462 --> 01:33:38,091
♪ A great mystery ♪
1663
01:33:38,092 --> 01:33:42,972
♪ Of reality ♪
1664
01:33:50,187 --> 01:33:55,608
♪ My deepest blue ocean ♪
1665
01:33:55,609 --> 01:33:59,904
♪ My world, my truth ♪
1666
01:33:59,905 --> 01:34:05,160
♪ Always the moon
means you ♪
1667
01:34:05,161 --> 01:34:10,540
♪ The flower,
the root, the tree ♪
1668
01:34:10,541 --> 01:34:15,962
♪ The frisson
of swishing leaves ♪
1669
01:34:15,963 --> 01:34:22,552
♪ The stars and space
between the wonder ♪
1670
01:34:22,553 --> 01:34:29,309
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1671
01:34:29,310 --> 01:34:32,729
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1672
01:34:32,730 --> 01:34:39,569
♪ Forever be free ♪
1673
01:34:39,570 --> 01:34:44,532
♪ A great mystery ♪
1674
01:34:44,533 --> 01:34:48,704
♪ Of reality ♪